


Big Bad Wolf

by clownsick, marinoxx



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: 16-17 y/o Keith, Anal Sex, Dubious Morality, Frottage, Galaxy Garrison, Gaslighting, Infidelity/Cheating, Intercrural Sex, It's Not Paranoia If They're Really Out To Get You, M/M, Masturbation, Matt is the only unambiguously decent person, Nasty, Oral Sex, Power play dynamics, Pre-Kerberos Mission, Unhealthy Relationships, nonconsensual voyeurism, on multiple levels y'all
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-06
Updated: 2018-10-19
Packaged: 2019-07-07 19:35:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 28,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15914877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clownsick/pseuds/clownsick, https://archiveofourown.org/users/marinoxx/pseuds/marinoxx
Summary: Keith’s first love should have been a positive experience. Shiro isn’t the problem. Adam is. Every interaction leaves Keith wondering if the guy hates him or if it’s all in his head. If and when things escalate, he'll have to make a decision. Until then, he's just trying to survive.Written as a Discord RP and published here in installments for your viewing pleasure.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please read the tags.
> 
> Disclaimer: this is intended to be a deliciously immoral story about unhealthy dynamics. Neither of us are advocating for or condoning the actions taken by the characters in this or future chapters. Just a heads up.
> 
> On to the main event.

“Keith, hold up.”

Keith stopped dead in his tracks at the familiar voice coupled with approaching footsteps. Shiro appeared at his side with a smile on his face and eye contact that made Keith feel momentarily constricted. He felt a large hand on his back, a friendly pat that was far too brief, but Keith imagined he could feel the heat of his hand.

“Oh,” he started, unable to form words for a moment. “Hey.”

“Haven’t seen you around in a while. How have you been holding up?”

Keith let a smile slip before he could catch himself, mouth twitching at the corners. He forced it down before Shiro could see his grin, rearranging his face into a neutral expression. Restraint. “Fine--I mean.” He shrugged, toes worming in his boots. “Midterms are almost over, so. Could be better. Could be worse.”

Shiro bobbed his head, resting his hands flat against the back pockets of his uniform pants. “Okay, well, if there’s anything I can help you with, just let me know. You know I’ve only got three classes going on this semester, so don’t stress about asking for help if you feel you need it. All right?”

Shiro was always like this. Earnest and helpful in a way that made Keith almost wish he would stop, even though he couldn’t stand the thought of it going away. “I’m fine,” he blurted out again before he could think it through.

A thought struck him belatedly. Relying on other people made him uncomfortable, but Shiro was offering. And there was something that had been weighing on Keith’s mind.

“Actually…” Keith hesitated. Maybe he shouldn’t be asking for this after all. But the way Shiro’s expression lit up made him follow through. “I have a physical exam at the end of the semester. The training room is almost always full during the day, but I hear it’s pretty empty after hours. Would you be able to get me in?”

Shiro’s expression, expectant and helpful, suddenly fell. His shoulders visibly sank. “Oh… I’m sorry, Keith. Only upperclassmen are allowed in after hours. It isn’t supervised, so anyone under eighteen is a liability.”

Under eighteen. Keith certainly fell into that category, teetering on the precocious boundary of sixteen and a half. He tangled the fingers of his left hand into the long hair at the nape of his neck. “A liability, huh?”

“Keith…” Shiro sighed, dragging the heels of his hands over his belt loops. Keith purposely averted his eyes as Shiro crossed his arms, biceps flexing under the grey material of his uniform jacket. His ears burned as Shiro gifted him an apologetic smile. “Sorry. It’s a hard rule. I don’t want to do anything that could get us both in trouble. At least,” he said, smile turning to smirk, “not while you’re still on probation.”

“Probation ends this week.”

Shiro shook his head with a laugh and let a large hand land on Keith’s shoulder. “Sorry. Not this time.” Approaching footsteps drew Keith’s attention to the long hallway at his back.

“Shiro, there you are.”

Another familiar voice hit Keith. He tensed up as his stomach went sour. Adam walked over to them, all smiles, and put an arm around Shiro. Keith watched as his hand squeezed the muscle of his shoulder. Something about Adam had always rubbed him the wrong way, even though he had never been able to pinpoint exactly what it was. He felt some relief as he watched the hand fall away, but discomfort bubbled again as Adam laced his fingers with Shiro’s with natural ease.

Adam fixed him with a friendly smile. “Hey, Keith.”

Tension spread through Keith’s body. He found himself unable to speak and only gave a curt nod. Shiro looked at Adam, meeting his eyes despite how close they were. Keith imagined being that close to Shiro and felt his stomach flip.

“What were you two talking about?”

A frantic urge to keep Shiro from telling him welled up so suddenly Keith almost opened his mouth to speak. It didn’t really matter if Adam knew, but. Shiro chuckled. “We were just talking about the training room rules.”

“What, about the age restrictions?” Adam laughed airily and bumped their intertwined hands against Shiro’s hip. Keith watched them share a look that was punctuated with a flash of heat. “Sorry, kiddo. Adults only after nine PM.” Keith dug his fingernails into his palm at the infantilization.

“Keith’s not a child,” Shiro scolded, but there was mirth in his eyes. Adam shot him a wink and rage swirled low in Keith’s belly. _Restraint_. Always, restraint. Such was life, relegated to a third wheel. The happy couple leaned into each other for an intimate moment before Shiro broke away to check his watch.

“Well, I’ve got somewhere to be,” he breathed with a shrug, turning back to Keith at last. “See you soon?”

Keith watched numbly as Shiro walked away. He expected Adam to go with him, but instead he remained, eyes following Shiro with a fond smile. Then he turned it on Keith.

“It’s a shame about the training room. The guy in charge can be a bit of a hardass.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet, sifting through it. He pulled a card and extended it to Keith, smile widening. “But there’s no harm in bending the rules.”

Keith hesitated, looking from the keycard to Adam’s face and back. He knew that this tension between them was imagined, that Adam was a kind person and that his own distrust of him stemmed from a stupid and unrequited crush. There was no reason not to take advantage of said kindness, use it for what it was. Keith might even _want_ to use Adam. Take advantage of him. Refusal would be almost...rude. Adam’s eyes smiled behind the rim of his glasses.

Keith disgusted himself.

“Thanks,” he said at last, gingerly taking the card from Adam’s fingertips. “Sorry for the trouble.”

“It’s no trouble.” Adam started walking past him, but Keith swore he slowed down for a moment, eyes piercing him. He imagined he saw something cold in them, but it was gone as quickly as it had come. “Take care of yourself, Keith.”

Keith watched Adam leave, staring at his back until he had rounded a corner. Only then did the tension in his muscles start to subside. He stood there for a moment too long then willed his feet to start moving. It had to be in his head. It was. And he was an asshole for thinking otherwise.

 

***

Keith didn’t use the keycard in the end.

Nor did he pretend that the reason for the disuse wasn’t because it was a gift from Adam. It wasn’t as if Keith was obligated to use the card. It was very likely in his best interest not to use it, in fact. And so down it went, into the craterous abyss of his messenger bag, out of sight and out of blessed mind.

Baseless as it was, the distaste ran deep. Keith might even venture to say it ran deeper than it ought to, for a boy like himself who expected little of others and therefore rarely held grudges. But Shiro’s...presence. It complicated things, made them difficult where Shiro made them easy, twisted his gut into fantastical shapes and did unspeakable, hair-raising things to his immature libido where it pricked unwanted at the backmost corners of his brain. It was only natural, the nausea that rose in his throat whenever Adam’s hand found a home at the small of Shiro’s back. Natural, the guilty and self-deprecating pang of envy when Adam, effortlessly, made Shiro laugh. And it was all too expected that Keith might form a sort of neural link between those uncomfortable feelings and the person with whom they seemed to co-occur.

It wasn’t Adam’s fault. It was his own by far. Keith resolved to do what Shiro would do. Keith resolved to do better by Adam. Be better.

And then Shiro smiled at him, and those feelings came roaring right back.

Maybe it was best just to avoid them both. Stymie the bleeding, so to say. Keith managed to dodge the two of them for about a week; started to think he was getting good at it, even.

But sometimes, it couldn’t be helped.

“Keith!” Adam waved from the doorway of the simulation hall with a gentle smile. “Going to class?”

Keith fought the wave of anxiety mixed with repulsion that threatened to show on his face and could do nothing but stand there as Adam made his way over. It took him a moment to register that he had been asked a question.

“Heading back to my dorm.” With their proximity Keith had to crane his neck to look up at Adam, who stood an entire head taller than him. Adam laughed like what he had said was funny, something shining in his eyes.

“Heading back, huh? Not going to use the training room tonight?” It was a subject Keith wished he hadn’t brought up. “How has the extra training been treating you?” 

Keith angled his face away, overwhelmed by the smell of Adam’s aftershave. Harmless, he reminded himself. “About that--”

“Oh? What have you got there?” Adam leaned to the side, hands on his hips. Keith instinctively turned his body, obstructing Adam’s line of sight. He’d caught a glimpse of his bag, and a familiar object along with it.

_“So this is a little embarrassing,” Shiro had said, unfurling Keith’s hand with warm fingers, “but midterms are coming up, and you must be a little stressed, so.” He pressed something cool and flat into Keith’s palm. “Here. A good luck charm.”_

_Keith blinked down at his hand. A keychain rested there, all silver metal and green plastic veneer molded into the shape of a frog’s head with enormous blue eyes. It was almost comically cute. Keith couldn’t help but laugh. “Shiro, what-?”_

“Didn’t Shiro give you that for your test two weeks ago?” The question was posed innocuously, with a particular lightness to it that suggested something weighted. Keith told himself he was imagining it.

“Oh… yeah.” He had meant to give it back immediately after the test, but something had always come up. And when he’d had the opportunity to, well, he had just told himself he would give it back next time. He was struck with guilt. Maybe he had been avoiding it a little.

“Shiro’s always used that for his tests, ever since I’ve known him.” The fact was dropped in Keith’s lap casually. There was a pause and it seemed to grow heavier. “It’s really special to him. I’m surprised he hasn’t asked for it back yet. When you get the chance, you should give it to him.”

“Yeah,” Keith rushed to say. “Yeah, I will.”

Adam was silent for a moment. He smiled at him, not expectantly, but like someone observing a particularly interesting insect through a magnifying glass. Keith’s throat went dry and when he swallowed he knew Adam could see it.

“Or, you know, you could just give it to me and I could pass it along.”

“It’s all right,” Keith answered, shifting uncomfortably. “I can do it.” Adam’s glasses glinted in the flourescent light of the hall.

“You sure?” Adam stepped in, and Keith stepped back. Adam raised his palms in surrender. “I live with him, you know. Would sure save you a trip. Shiro mentioned you’ve been pretty busy, said he hasn’t seen you since last week.” Keith faltered at that and Adam raised an innocent eyebrow. “Unless you don’t plan on giving it back.”

That wasn’t--there wasn’t any truth to that. Of course Keith wanted to give it back, he just--it wasn’t that he didn’t _trust_ Adam--right? He would only rather return it himself--it was only right.

The look in Adam’s eye made it clear that he really didn’t have a choice.

“Sorry.” Keith found himself apologizing as he unclipped the keychain from his bag. “I didn’t mean to...make it weird.”

“Of course not,” Adam reassured him, taking the keychain and slipping it into his pocket. He smiled at Keith and again he caught a note of ice hidden in the warmth of his eyes. “Well, I had better be heading off.”

Keith should have felt relief at that, but instead the words instilled a sense of dread. Like he had somehow done the wrong thing, even though he was sure he hadn’t. His throat still felt as dry as sandpaper.

“You get some rest, Keith. We wouldn’t want Shiro to worry, would we?”

Keith felt a chill at the name and then his blood rushed hot with anger he couldn’t explain. All he could do was nod. “Yeah… later.”

The two parted ways, every step taking him away from Adam soothing but never calming the uncertainty in his gut.

Keith was relieved to see his roommate absent when he returned to his room, slinging his bag  down onto the chair at his desk and flopping down backward onto his mattress. He pulled his phone from the pocket of his pants and unlocked it with a touch of his thumbprint. He’d missed a message from Shiro.

 _Hey buddy. Just checking in. Haven’t seen you in a while. Everything OK?_ A concerned-looking yellow emoji adorned the question mark. Keith dragged a clammy hand over his face.

 _Everything’s fine. Just busy with midterms._ Keith sent off the text and turned off his phone, throwing his arm over his eyes to block out what little light there was in the room until his phone buzzed again.

_OK good to hear. Me and Adam are having taco night tonight if you want to join._

Keith stared at the screen. The invitation both sent warmth through his chest and curdled his stomach. The last thing he wanted right now was to go eat tacos with fucking Adam. He felt some venom when he simply responded with, _I’ll pass. Thanks though._

Part of him regretted it. He missed Shiro and as much as Adam made him uncomfortable, it probably would have been worth it to go see him. He checked his phone a few minutes later, but there was no response. After a moment of hesitation, he wrote another message.

_I’m not a little kid, you don’t have to check on me._

To his surprise, the response was almost immediate. _Maybe I just miss you. Anyway, you should come next time. I’ll catch you later, Keith._

 _Maybe I just miss you._ God. Keith’s bad mood dissipated like smoke as butterflies burst to life in his stomach. He missed Shiro, too; liked the attention he was given. Wanted Shiro to give him attention all the time.

Shiro’s words stood out starkly against the glare of his screen, a harsh light in the dim setting of the room. Keith wanted him--Shiro--in every meaningful way; wanted him close. Vulnerable, emotionally intimate. Physical--though Keith didn’t know what it meant to _be_ physical with another, not really. Not in the way that it mattered. Keith’s sole and loath point of reference when it came to being profoundly _physical_ with Shiro was--

Adam.

Keith’s breath hitched. He was aroused.

Did he want that-? To touch Shiro the way he did? His body’s answer was a resounding _yes_. Keith found himself swept away in his thoughts, selfish thoughts of his own hands in all the private places Shiro would only allow Adam to touch. Shiro’s hands on his body. Shiro saying his name, low and secretive, whispered into his ear the way he’d seen Shiro do to Adam whenever the latter became too playful, too publicly handsy.

Keith’s free hand worked his fly open, taking himself in hand and stroking with a light touch as he kept his eyes fixed upon Shiro’s last text. _Miss you._

“Shiro,” Keith whimpered, biting his lip. The guilt didn’t matter. Nothing mattered but this: his, no, _Shiro’s_ hand on his cock, the phantom touch of what Keith imagined his lips felt like on his skin. He panted, squirmed; let it consume him, let himself _be_ Adam, let his hands roam the contours of Shiro’s body, let the pleasure reach its peak--

A new message buzzed in the instant before his climax. A picture from Shiro. He and Adam, smiling over a tray of tacos.

“ _Fuck,_ ” Keith choked out, just before he tipped screaming over the edge.

Keith lay there, clean hand over his eyes as his breathing slowed and his mood sank through the floor. The picture of Shiro and Adam was burned into his eyelids and he could see Shiro’s happy expression without looking, Adam’s pleased smile. Like he had known Keith would see it and--

No. He was being ridiculous about this. Adam was getting to him-- not even that. Adam was an innocent party in this and Keith was the asshole who was not only lusting after his boyfriend, but demonizing him while he did. If he took a step back and thought about it, then he really didn’t even deserve to have Shiro as a mentor let alone a friend.

Keith rolled onto his side and turned his face into his pillow. He stayed still for a long time, losing track of the minutes as they rolled by, and only got out of bed to wash up before collapsing again. He woke up once when his roommate came back, then fell into a fitful sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

The bell rang and Keith lifted his head from his textbook where a trace amount of his drool had pooled into a small puddle. Third period study hour was over.

Lunchtime.

He wandered into the cafeteria slowly, dragging his feet. Shiro was waving at him from one of the long tables catercorner to the exit. Matt was there, pointing at an empty seat. Keith’s spirits lifted for an instant as he came forward around one of the thick support pillars that dotted the lunchroom. Then he saw Adam.

“Hey buddy,” Shiro greeted him as he sat down. Matt rested a welcoming elbow on his shoulder. “What’s going on? Haven’t seen you for a few days.” Keith took a stab at his macaroni, avoiding Shiro’s eyes. Adam raised an eyebrow at him as he took a slow sip of his sports drink.

“Nothing much,” Keith said, shrugging. “Just been...recovering, you know. From testing.”

“Ah, yeah,” Shiro laughed, understanding in his eyes. “But you made it through, that’s what matters.”

Adam was smiling. There was something not quite condescending about it, but like he was in on a joke no one else was. Matt opened his mouth, presumably to change the subject, but Adam cut him off smoothly.

“How _did_ your finals go, Keith? I know you were worried about them.”

Keith tensed up. The question made his stomach squirm and it had nothing to do with the actual tests. “Yeah,” he said. “I mean, fine.”

Shiro’s face lit up a bit. “Oh yeah! Speaking of that, uh… Do you still have that thing I gave you?”

Keith blinked at him. “Thing?”

“My lucky keychain,” Shiro elaborated. “Remember?” Keith shifted a bit, looking from Shiro to Adam. Adam munched placidly on his bland rice pilaf without acknowledging him once. Keith swallowed hard.

“I gave it to Adam a couple days ago,” he said. “He said he would pass it on to you for me.”

“Hm?” Adam tossed out between bites, before Shiro could open his mouth. “No, you...we talked about me getting it from you, but you didn’t actually give it to me. You said it was back at your room. Don’t you remember?”

Keith opened his mouth to speak, but it snapped shut of its own accord. Indignance surged up, quelled by a rational (or irrational?) voice that made him question whether or not he actually had given him the keychain. He had been pretty tired. Was he misremembering?

The memory of Adam’s face as he took the keychain and the tone of his words came back to him. He looked straight into Adam’s eyes, searching for some sort of truth in them. Instead he was met with innocent confusion.

_Why was he lying about this?_

“No…” Keith started slowly. “No, I definitely gave it to you.”

An awkward quiet fell over the table and a few looks were exchanged. Shiro was the first to speak up, voice reassuring. “Don’t worry about it, Keith. You were probably just tired. You can give it to me some other time.”

“You should take better care of yourself,” Adam admonished gently. “Maybe you should get some more rest.”

“Yeah,” Matt chimed in. “Me, Shiro, Adam...you know, we all care about you. Nobody wants to see you get sick or anything.” Keith clamped his mouth shut, feeling his teeth grit together like sandpaper as Adam finished off the rest of his food.

Shiro pushed himself up from the table. “Well, I’ve got to run home before fifth hour starts.” He ducked down to plant a cheeky kiss on Adam’s cheek. “I’ll see you boys later.”

“Don’t worry about the trash,” Matt said before Shiro could collect his food tray. “I’ll take care of it. ‘M done anyway. Be right back, guys.” Shiro sent him a grateful smile as he stacked the trays and the two of them were gone, leaving Keith and Adam alone at the long table. Keith glared openly for a long moment before Adam deigned to speak.

“So, Keith, I’ve been meaning to get your opinion on something. Is it alright if I ask you a question?”

The words hung heavy in the air, pendulous between them as Adam waited for his response. Keith wanted to shut him down, demand to know why he had lied about the damn keychain, but something kept him rooted and still. He finally gave a stiff nod and Adam made a show of relaxing.

“The truth is, Shiro and I have been together for a while now. I’ve never really felt this way for anyone else and Shiro’s said the same about me.” The words sat between them, Adam giving a pause for Keith to thoroughly examine them. “I’ve been thinking of asking him to marry me.”

Keith felt his heart stop. Coming to terms with the fact that Shiro was dating someone had been a long process that he wasn’t even sure he was succeeding with. But it had always been a constant and Keith had been content to know that the dynamic, while it was not one that made him happy, was not going to change anytime soon. With Adam’s words Keith could feel Shiro slip just a bit further out of his grasp. Not that he had any right to him anyway.

Adam tilted his head, observing him through the lenses of his glasses. He waited for him to respond, far longer than was socially acceptable. Too long. The silence stretched an immeasurably cold distance between them, but Adam and his stare still felt far too close.

“So I wanted to know,” he finally said, breaking the silence as though it had never been there. “Do you think he’ll say yes?”

“I don’t,” Keith choked out, chest seizing up, “know.” Adam’s eyes widened nearly imperceptibly, his head swivelling on its axis like a doll.

“Is that a no?”

“I--” Keith couldn’t breathe. “I don’t know--he _might_ , I mean--Shiro’s been saying he really wants to concentrate on his courses, you know, he--I think he’s been thinking more about his career.”

“Shiro doesn’t need a career,” Adam said, entirely too calm. “He has me.”

Keith’s veins turned to ice. He dropped his eyes to the white plastic of the table, stared fixedly at the flecks of grey in the textured facade. Adam’s uniform pulled tight around his shoulders as he leaned toward him over the table, and Keith held his breath as a blast of air conditioning struck him with the familiar, sickening scent of aftershave. “You know--”

“What are you guys talking about?” Matt approached the table, sitting down easily. Adam turned his smile to him and gave a casual shrug.

“Just chatting.”

Matt looked at Keith and his smile faltered. He met Keith’s gaze with intelligent eyes and held it. Somehow it was almost worse than Adam looking at him. There was something in the look, a concern - and beyond that a suspicion that wasn’t aimed at him. He seemed to be waiting for some sign from Keith, but it never came. His smile eased a bit.

“Well, I’m about to head out. Keith, you want to walk with me?”

Adam cut in, “Actually, Matt, I had something I wanted to discuss with you. Do you mind?”

Matt hesitated for a moment then nodded. “Yeah, sure.”

The two stood and started away. Matt turned and looked over his shoulder, meeting Keith’s eyes once more. “Hang in there, Keith.”

Keith couldn’t even find it in himself to react. He just watched the two leave, only looking down once they had exited the cafeteria. He sat alone for a few moments longer before going to clear his tray, throwing the macaroni away with a little more violence than was probably necessary.

He didn’t understand. What point was Adam trying to make? He was starting to think it wasn’t just in his head.

***

 

“So what are you feeling?” Shiro asked brightly, scrolling through a selection of action flicks. “Thriller? A drama?” He turned to Keith slyly. “Maybe a romance?”

Shiro had given Keith a couple days to himself after their last exchange in the cafeteria. If Keith were to venture a guess, he’d say Shiro meant to let him properly rest without the pressure to reply to his text messages, and maybe that was exactly what he needed. A day or three away from Shiro and Adam’s power-couple dynamic did have him feeling more like himself. He had a fair amount of his own energy back--enough, even, to take a look around his half of the room and in the depths of his messenger bag in search of the green keychain he _knew_ he’d had just the other day, just in case Adam was right. In case he’d dreamed up the entire interaction.

The frog was nowhere to be found and Keith had to pull himself up by his bootstraps to sidestep falling into a pit of despair. Shiro. Keith hoped to God he would forgive him. It wouldn’t be his first infraction since the start of their relationship. What Keith wouldn’t give for an evening alone with Shiro, just like the ones they used to share before he acquainted Keith with Adam and dinner for two became dinner for three.

Keith would get his wish that Friday night. His phone vibrated pleasantly. A message from Shiro.

_Adam’s out late doing PT. Sure would be lonely if you didn’t come on over for movie night._

A pause, then an ellipsis as Shiro continued typing.

_And don’t worry about the keychain. You’re more important to me than a little piece of plastic._

Keith hunched his shoulders to hide his wobbly smile from his roommate. ...Yeah. This was really love.

Movie night it was.

Shiro continued waggling his eyebrows and Keith couldn’t help a blush. “...I’m not really one for chick flicks.”

Shiro laughed at that. “That’s no problem. We’ve got a lot of personal favorites tucked away under the TV.”

Shiro slid off of the couch and got on his knees in front of the television. Keith’s attention was pulled from the screen down to where Shiro was rummaging through the television stand. He caught sight of his shoulders moving under the soft black t-shirt he wore and immediately shifted his eyes downwards. It was a mistake as they landed on a strip of skin above his jeans where the shirt had ridden up. This time he locked on and zeroed in.

“How about Top Gun?”

Keith snapped out of the state he had fallen into, looking up at Shiro like a startled cat. “What?”

Shiro laughed. “Top Gun. Have you seen it?”

“Oh. No,” Keith lied before he could even register what question Shiro had asked. His mind backtracked, but it was too late. “What’s it, uh… yeah, let’s watch that.”

Shiro turned back to the television and popped the disk in. He came back onto the couch and rested his arms on the backs of the cushions, getting comfortable. “It’s a good movie, one of my favorites. I’m sure you’ll like it.”

Keith settled in as close as was socially acceptable and kicked off his shoes, pulling his knees up to his chin. Shiro shook his head, reaching over and playfully pulling Keith closer until their elbows touched. Keith had to physically resist the urge to rest his head on Shiro’s shoulder.

They sat like that for a while, silently enjoying the movie. Shiro rolled his neck about fifteen minutes in and casually reached up to rub at the crook, long fingers working themselves into the muscle. His eyes didn’t leave the screen, and yet. “So how have you been?”

Only then did Keith realize movie night had been a trap.

He lowered his face onto his knees in surrender. It was no good. He couldn’t be angry with Shiro if he wanted to. “I’m...fine, Shiro. Don’t worry about me.”

“It’s kind of hard not to,” Shiro admitted, glancing at him with a somewhat concerned smile. He turned his eyes back to the television, but Keith had the feeling he was barely paying attention. “You can talk to me, you know? I want to be able to look out for you, Keith. And if something is bothering you… I want to be able to help make it right.”

Keith pressed his forehead against his knees. It was hard to say no to Shiro, even when opening up meant leaving himself vulnerable to all of the things that had been getting to him lately. But Shiro was waiting and…

“Honestly? I don’t even know.” Keith’s shoulders sank in defeat. “Things have just been really hard lately and… I don’t know, there are things that have just been stressing me out.”

“What kind of things?” Shiro turned his head to look at him, not staring but just giving him a glance. “Like schoolwork?”

“No… I mean, that too. But I guess just… people stuff?” It was hard to get the words out even as he was trying to form them. Shiro nodded in understanding, even though Keith was pretty sure he didn’t get it.

“People can be hard. I know it’s been hard for you to make connections here, but honestly, I think you’re doing a pretty good job. You have me, Matt, and Adam.” Keith prickled, but was confident it didn’t show. “When things get tough, you can talk to us. Even if you don’t exactly know the root of your problem, you know?”

“... Yeah,” Keith admitted at length. He gave Shiro a little smile, truly grateful for the sentiment. There was just no way he could talk about the real root of the problem with him.

Shiro raised a large hand and stroked Keith’s hair fondly. “Just take it easy,” he said. “You don’t have to take everything on by yourself. I’m here for you. And I’ll never up and disappear on you. No matter what happens.” His palm fell to the nape of Keith’s neck, sliding comfortingly over his shoulder. “All right?”

“Yeah,” Keith breathed. “All right.”

The movie played on. Keith’s eyelids grew weighty at the halfway mark and Shiro nudged him a bit. “Sleepy?”

“No,” Keith denied, sitting up a little straighter just to slump back against the couch cushions. Shiro chuckled.

“Whatever you say,” he yielded, even as he raised the remote to lower the volume. Keith slipped further and further into dreamlike distance, safe and comfortable against Shiro’s shoulder until the heavy curtain of sleep ensconced him at last.

 

_“Shiro,” Keith murmured, leaning into the contact. “Shiro, you can’t--you can’t touch me like that.” Shiro’s hand on his shoulder tightened pleasingly, sliding back and forth over his skin through the thin material of Keith’s regulation T-shirt. Keith heard him emit a soft laugh._

_“Why not?” His fingers danced up Keith’s collar, traced the hollow of his neck. “You don’t like it?”_

_“I do,” confessed Keith, eyelids fluttering with a moan. “I do, but--”_

_“But what?” Shiro’s voice was gentle. Tender. “What’s wrong with it?”_

_“I like it too much,” Keith whispered, squeezing his eyes shut. “I like you.” Shiro’s fingertips toyed with the swell of his throat, played their way up his chin. Keith’s breath stuttered as Shiro’s thumb traced his bottom lip. “And you don’t like me.”_

_“I don’t like you?” Shiro repeated, lowering his mouth to Keith’s neck. “Don’t say that.” Keith felt himself growing hard as Shiro’s teeth grazed his skin._

_“You don’t,” he panted, fingernails scraping over Shiro’s arms. “You think I’m--a kid, you baby me because you’re twenty-three and I’m--I’m only sixteen--”_

_“You like it when I baby you,” Shiro replied, moist lips on Keith’s jaw. “It feels good. I want to make you feel good.” Keith finally dared to open his eyes, to see the heat in Shiro’s dark stare. “Get you naked.” Yes. Shiro._

_“Take off your clothes.”_

_Keith stifled a cry as Shiro slid inside him, tucked his legs around his waist, felt the sweaty slide of skin on skin. Shiro pressed him firmly into the couch cushions and ground their hips flush, started a rhythm that was powerful, sensual, sweet. So much. His eyes slipped closed. Keith wanted him so much._

_“I like you too,” Shiro said, against his mouth. Keith moaned throaty and loud at the long-coveted feel of Shiro’s cock, the delicious friction as he was fucked, in and out. “Keith, baby--you know, I like you too--” A hand descended gently upon his neck. Keith’s eyes snapped open, and._

_Suddenly it was no longer Shiro above his naked body, but Adam, fully clothed and fixing him with a calm smile. Keith tried to jerk back, but the hand squeezed around his throat._

_“Adam--”_

_The word was immediately choked out as Adam’s fingers closed around his neck. Keith struggled to breathe, sucking in what little air he could through the pressure. Another hand moved to his neck, closing around the other side. Adam’s thumbs pressed into his trachea and Keith tried to yell, beg him to stop, but all he could make was a rasping noise._

_Adam leaned closer, then closer, so close that his face was barely an inch from Keith’s. Their noses brushed and Adam’s calm, smiling eyes locked with him in an impossibly personal moment. Keith dug his nails into Adam’s arms in a last ditch attempt to pry him off and--_

 

Keith was laying on the couch, limbs like lead from sleepiness. His eyes remained shut, but anxiety coursed through him, heart pumping from the dream he’d just woken up from. He didn’t dare open his eyes, terrified that Adam might actually be _there_. He breathed out slowly, trying to calm himself. It was alright. It had just been a dream.

Even without seeing he could tell what he was against. Shiro’s chest moved up and down in even motions as he breathed, pressed against Keith’s cheek. Keith drew in a slow breath, taking in the position. Shiro’s arm was around him and he was loosely holding him to his chest.

In all of his unbidden fantasies of what might possibly happen between the two of them, he had never imagined that something like this would actually go down. Even shaken from his dream Keith was still able to appreciate it. He let his breathing steady and enjoyed the warmth coming from Shiro, the comfort of lying against him -- something he might never get to feel again.

He must have laid there for at least twenty minutes. He wanted to savor it, but with the crick in his neck and the stitch in his side from their position, he finally relented and decided to sit up. Keith opened his eyes, blinking groggily.

And then he saw him.

Adam was standing above him, staring down at the two of them with a blank expression. Not a hint of his usual smile could be seen. He looked down at Keith and just stared.

Keith felt an immediate welling of alarm. How long had he been there? Why hadn’t he _said anything?!_

Pressure made itself known between his legs and Keith glanced down. An enormous erection tented the front of his sweatpants. He covered himself quickly with a cushion. Adam continued to tower over him. Keith waited for a swell of breath, a flicker of-- _something_ to counter the lifeless glassiness of Adam’s eyes, but none came. Adam was as motionless as dead wood.

Until, finally, he turned away, rotating on his heel and calmly marching off into the bedroom. A living puppet. Keith’s fingers tightened in the stuffing of the cushion between his legs and, sensing his tension, Shiro stirred beside him.

“Mm,” Shiro groaned, rubbing his palms into his eyes. “Keith--what time is it?” Keith said nothing, heart pounding in his chest. Shiro reached for his phone to check the time. “Jesus. Is Adam home yet?”

“Yeah,” Keith croaked, throat dry. “He’s home.”

“Oh, good.” Shiro slipped his phone away and stood, stretching. His back popped a few times before he craned his neck to look down at Keith. “You hungry? I’m pretty sure we still have some cereal.”

Keith’s stomach rolled at the thought of food. He needed out of there _now._  “No, I’m good.”

“You sure? Don’t want a protein bar or something?” Shiro looked over at him in mild concern before disappearing into the kitchen. Only when Keith was sure that Shiro wasn’t coming back anytime soon did he move the cushion away from himself. He stood up and realized that his hands were shaking.

“Shiro, I’m gonna head out.”

“Are you sure? I’m sure I can find something.”

Keith opened his mouth to respond, but heard some shifting in the direction of the bedroom. His stomach twisted and he snapped his mouth shut, heading for the door.

He was two blocks away when he realized he hadn’t said goodbye to Shiro.


	3. Chapter 3

Despite the abrupt way they had parted, things were relatively smooth for the next couple of weeks. Keith concentrated on his studies, kept his head down, met Shiro and the others for lunch when scheduling allowed. He met them more often than normal, in fact. Keith was wont to go off on his own on occasion, use his lunch period to regenerate the social energy lost when sitting amongst the sea of orange-clad cadets in each of his classes. But Shiro worried less when Keith joined him for meals, he knew.

So Keith faithfully went to the cafeteria whenever he could. Shiro seemed pleased with the change, insisting Keith sit next to him after the first couple of times he turned up more frequently than expected, both an encouragement and a reward for the behavior. Matt welcomed Keith as warmly as he always did, and Adam was no less genial. Why would he be? Keith was imagining the tension between them, after all. Adam hadn’t mentioned the position he had found Keith and Shiro in, all those nights ago, and Keith had all but reasoned to himself that his unnerving reaction to the incident was due to fatigue on Adam’s part, and nothing more. Nothing more. Nothing...else.

Something still bit at the back of his brain. It was Shiro’s insistence that Keith sit beside him. Etiquette would dictate that Adam move to the opposite side of the table at that, to maintain the social balance between the four of them and to facilitate ease of communication. And yet he never moved. Matt was left to sit across from the three of them by himself. Keith waited for it the first time, expecting to find a spark of something surprised flash behind the round lenses of Matt’s glasses, but it never came. The four of them carried on as if nothing was amiss. Indeed, nothing was.

_ You’re going insane, _ Keith thought to himself, trying not to stare.  _ Insane _ . And that was the thought he was left with for the umpteenth time as he rolled their group dynamic around in his head, lying half-awake in his bed in the middle of the night. His roommate snored quietly in his bed across the room. Keith squeezed his eyes shut, determined to get some shut-eye before the quiz he knew was coming first thing in the morning.

His phone vibrated on the nightstand.

Keith rubbed his eyes and rolled over to fetch the device. A notification, at 3:43 AM. A message with a photo attachment.

It was from Shiro.

Keith typed in his passcode, bemused. Why was Shiro awake at nearly 4 AM? Keith knew him to wake up around 6 for his morning workout. Wasn’t this a little too early? He opened the message with a tap, and.

A dead lizard glared back at him, the flesh of its thorax torn open where it had been pecked apart by a bird. Dried fluids surrounded the carcass under the punishing heat of the desert sun. It was impossible to know when the candid photo had been snapped, but if the black tarmac under its body was any indication, it had been taken on Garrison grounds.

Keith’s skin crawled, immediately going cold and clammy.  _ What the hell was that? _ What it was was obvious, but why had Shiro sent him something like that? For a moment Keith wondered if he was dreaming, if the stress had gotten to him, but after running a hand over the goosebumps on his arm he confirmed that he was indeed awake. He typed out a message to Shiro with trembling fingers. 

_ Shiro, why did you send me that?  _

He thrust his phone away from him onto his nightstand and squeezed his eyes shut, willing the image to go away. It didn’t, burned onto the insides of his eyelids. He lay there for minutes that stretched into hours, but still Shiro didn’t reply. When Keith finally felt himself drifting off, the sound of his alarm jarred him out of his sleep. 

Keith dragged himself through his classes that day, willing himself not to look at his messages with Shiro until he had replied and pushed the picture out of his view. He never did. It was fine. Shiro was probably busy. Keith would see him after his run in the simulator anyway. 

The day dragged on. Keith ate alone at lunch, not sure he could handle being with the group until he was sure about what the hell was going on. He was a zombie the whole day, only perking up when it was time for them to run the simulation. He dropped his bag off outside the room and headed in. 

As he should have guessed, the simulation was abysmal. The kid who had been put in charge of giving orders was trying too hard to imitate whatever image they had of a captain, evidently a strung out version of Captain Kirk. The other cadets had gotten too anxious and fucked up their parts, one of them completely going blank forgetting the controls. Keith found himself agitated and got marks taken off for snapping at the crew. He felt exhausted by the time they were done, but at least it was over. 

As he was heading out he caught sight of Shiro, who had been a TA in a different simulation, talking to a couple cadets. They hurried off and Keith approached him, butterflies in his gut. 

“Shiro…?” 

Shiro turned to Keith and smiled warmly. “Hey, man. Didn’t see you at lunch, we were worried.” 

“Oh… yeah.” Keith shifted uncomfortably. “Did you, uh, get my text?” 

Shiro’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Text? Nope. What did you say?” 

Keith’s stomach curled. “I just was asking why you sent that picture.” 

There was a beat of silence. Shiro’s expression scrunched in confusion. “I didn’t send you a picture, Keith.” 

The two stared at each other, Shiro becoming visibly concerned. Keith’s jaw set and he turned on his heel, walking away from him. Shiro followed. “Hey, Keith!” 

Keith didn’t respond. Couldn’t respond. He wheeled out of the room and went to grab his bag, searching through it until he found his phone. It made him uncomfortable, the prospect of seeing that picture again, but he had to make sure he wasn’t crazy. He clicked into the messages with Shiro and--

It wasn’t there. Nor was there the message Keith had sent in return. They were gone. He stared numbly, feeling like the rug had been pulled out from under his feet.  _ He was losing it.  _

“Keith,” Shiro said in a gentle tone, putting a hand on his shoulder. “What’s going on?” 

“You sent me a picture,” Keith responded, not even able to process the words before he said them. “Late at night.” 

“What was it of?” He got the feeling Shiro was humoring him, but he could hear in his voice he was really trying to understand. Keith shook his head sharply. 

“It was a lizard…” 

“A lizard?” Shiro squeezed his shoulder. “Hey, maybe you just dreamed it. You’ve been under a lot of stress. Sometimes the brain cooks up crazy stuff and--” 

“I didn’t imagine it, though!” Keith looked back at him, knowing the desperation showed on his face. “I didn’t.” 

Shiro frowned. It seemed they had come to an impasse. The two stared at each other and Keith knew this was another thing that wouldn’t get resolved. Just like that damn keychain. 

“Keith, I’m kind of worried about you. Why don’t we take some time and hang out later, just the two of us?” Shiro looked at him hopefully and Keith felt his thoughts circulate in a slow, grueling churn. 

_ You’re losing it. You’re going nuts. Shiro doesn’t believe you. _

“Yeah.” Keith bobbed his head automatically in a few nods. “Yeah, that sounds great.” 

Shiro smiled. “Good. I’ll text you and let you know when I’m free, alright?” 

A hand descended upon the crown of Keith’s head. He started and the hand pressed more firmly, mussing his hair. Keith didn’t need to turn around to know who it was.

Adam.

“Hey there,” he said, moving out of Keith’s periphery into plain view. Keith watched as Adam snaked a hand around Shiro’s waist, tugged him possessively close. “Saw you in the simulator just now. It’s unfortunate what happened, but you didn’t do too bad.” Adam turned into Shiro’s space, smiling affectionately close. “Shiro’s right, you have a lot of potential.”

“Shiro doesn’t say I have potential,” Keith snapped, still shaking. “He says I have  _ talent _ .”

“That too,” Adam countered smoothly, rocking Shiro against him once again. Shiro looked at him  in surprise, but didn’t resist. Keith’s blood was  _ burning _ . “Maybe even talented enough to fly with one of us someday. You know, when the rest of your hair comes in.”

“ _ Adam _ ,” Shiro scolded, but a laugh bubbled up from his chest. Adam shot him a shit-eating grin and Shiro collapsed into giggles. Keith’s brain was frying in its own fluid. Shiro was laughing. Shiro was laughing  _ at him _ .

“I’m not,” Keith snarled, nails cutting semicircles into his palms, “A. FUCKING. KID!”

“ _ Keith _ ,” Shiro exclaimed, in alarm.

Adam’s eyes widened and Keith saw the hand on Shiro tighten. “Keith, what’s gotten into you? It’s just a little joke, I didn’t mean anything by it.” 

Keith stood stock still, breathing picking up as his heart began to race. What if it had been Adam? What if he had sent him that picture and somehow gotten ahold of his phone and, and-- 

“Keith,” Shiro’s soothing voice drew him out of his thoughts. “Adam didn’t mean to upset you. No one is looking down on you.” 

Keith nodded even though his whole body rejected it. “... Of course not.” 

The two looked at him with varying degrees of concern and Keith took a step back. Shiro frowned deeply. “Keith, I’m serious about hanging out. It might be a good idea.” 

That was hard to say no to. Keith wanted to hang out with him, but saying so in front of Adam was uncomfortable. “... Yeah. How about this weekend? Just text me when you’re free.”  

Shiro nodded and opened his mouth to speak, but Keith cut him off by turning sharply and walking away. “Keith!” 

Keith walked down the hall quickly, not turning back. He felt Adam’s eyes on him until he rounded the corner. 

He walked--no, ran--towards the dorms, footfalls coming more and more uneven as he went. Something caught his arm as he sped past the gymnasium. A hand. Matt.

“Keith,” Matt said merrily. “Where are you rushing off t--”

“I hate him,” Keith blurted, wide-eyed. Matt froze, but the words kept coming. “Adam. I hate him, I  _ hate _ him, I--”

“Lower your voice,” Matt hushed, drawing Keith into the secluded corner between the end of the hall and the open door. “Wh--what’s this? What’s going on?!”

“I--” Keith returned to himself in time to realize what damning words had come from his mouth. “Nothing. It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing,” Matt said, squeezing Keith by the shoulders. “Something’s wrong, something’s happened. You know you can talk to me, right?” Keith reached up and grasped Matt’s wrists, used the leverage to find his centre.  _ Patience yields focus _ . He met Matt’s eyes.

“The keychain,” Keith said, firmly, chest still heaving. “I gave it to him. I did.”

Matt studied him, eyes searching. “...Okay.”

“Shiro doesn’t believe me.” Keith grit his teeth. “I got a text from Shiro’s number last night, it--it was this fucked-up picture of a dead lizard, all right? Shiro denied sending anything and the picture was gone when I went to show him, and--and it was Adam, I know it fucking was, the way he looked at me the last time I was over at their place, like I was--” Keith stuttered feverishly. “Like I was a--a bag of meat--”

Matt hissed as Keith’s nails dug into the thin skin of his wrists and Keith released him, covering his face with his hands.

He breathed hard for a while, willing himself to lower his hands, but he couldn’t. He felt the pressure of Matt’s hands going to his shoulders. Matt’s voice was steady and calming. “Hey, I don’t know what’s going on, but Adam’s been acting weird lately. Something’s up.” 

Keith breathed out slowly and forced his hands down. He met Matt’s eyes desperately, begging him to understand. Matt shook his head. “I know you’re not the kind of person to just make things up. Maybe I shouldn’t be saying this, don’t tell anyone I told you, but… Shiro was accepted for the Kerberos mission. I was there for it and as soon as we found out, Adam… I don’t know. Something’s gotten into him.” 

“He’s got something against me, Matt,” Keith insisted, feeling his hands tremble. Matt had to believe him. 

“Alright, calm down.” Matt’s tone was reassuring but firm. It took him a moment, but finally Keith was able to steady his hands. He nodded. “Do you want me to talk to Adam about it?” 

“No!” Panic immediately welled again. “No, please don’t.” 

“Alright, alright, I won’t.” Matt squeezed his shoulders. “Just...if he does anything that feels weird, come to me first next time, okay?” 

Keith exhaled. It was a start. “...Okay. All right.” Matt released him slowly, once he was sure Keith wouldn’t bolt.

“We’ve got a couple people practicing the rope climb in here before our section’s PT evaluation tomorrow. Why don’t you come on in and spectate? Keep me company.” Keith hesitated. Nodded. Matt was a safer option than the concrete confines of his own dorm room. If by chance another text message or- _ -something _ came in, there would be a second party there to witness it. Keith followed Matt into the gym and took a seat next to him on the bleachers, ignoring the questioning stares from Matt’s classmates. Yeah. This was good.

It would turn out to be a quiet night after that; Keith’s roommate was already asleep by the time he returned to their room, phone lacking any new messages save for the usual good-night text from Shiro. Keith went to bed early, slept straight through the night. One person, that was all he needed. One person to believe him, tell him he wasn’t losing his mind. Even if...that person wasn’t Shiro. Even if Shiro thought he was crazy. Even if he really was.

Keith awoke the next morning with skin under his fingernails. He’d scratched himself bloody.

  
***

Keith had made good on his agreement to meet up with Shiro. The two had found a day that they were both free and, despite Shiro’s offer to have Keith over, they had gone out for fast food. It was a relief to be out of the Garrison for a while. Spending time with Shiro was almost enough to make him forget what had happened. Every time he brought up Adam, however, a bit of tension returned to Keith’s shoulders. 

Shiro was so good at soothing it, though. His kindness was a balm and Keith couldn’t help but eat up the attention Shiro gave him, listening attentively to his stories about things that had gone on in training or shit that Matt had done. It was like being on another planet where everything that had bothered him didn’t quite matter. 

When they finished their food, Shiro crossed his arms on the table and leaned in confidentially. “To tell you the truth, there was a reason I wanted to hang out with you. I wanted to tell you the big news.” 

He looked at Keith expectantly and Keith leaned in a bit in turn, feigning curiosity pretty well for Matt’s sake. It touched him that Shiro had wanted to talk to him specifically about it rather than just in passing. “What is it, Shiro?” 

“I’ve been accepted for the Kerberos mission,” Shiro declared as humbly as he could. His excitement was evident. “I’m going to be going with Matt’s dad. The other members haven’t been decided yet, but I know Matt is gunning to be there, too.” 

Keith couldn’t help but smile. It would be sad not to see Shiro for that time and he couldn’t deny that he was worried, but… this was Shiro’s dream. He was happy for him. “That’s amazing! Congratulations, Shiro. I know how much it meant to you.” 

“Yeah.” Shiro worried at his lip. “Um. I’m glad you feel that way.” Keith watched him glance toward the door of the restaurant. “Seems like Adam is a bit too worried to be happy for me.”

“He’ll come around,” Keith consoled, though he himself wasn’t too sure. Shiro gave him a small smile, twisting his straw in his empty cup.

“I hope so. I think both of us were just so caught up in training that we never really thought about what would happen if one of us was actually able to, you know,  _ go _ .” Shiro looked uncertain. He rubbed the back of his neck. “I just… didn’t expect him to react so negatively. He was really upset.” 

Adam didn’t deserve Shiro. Not at all. Keith gripped his forearms and bore his weight against the table. He wouldn’t treat Shiro like that. Never.

“I know,” Shiro said, and Keith realized with horror that he had said that out loud. Shiro seemed unbothered, though, head resting in his palm, staring distractedly out the window. “You’re a really good friend, Keith. I’m glad I have you around.” Keith let out the breath he’d been holding and crushed his own empty cup in his fist.

His secret was safe. Shiro didn’t know. But it didn’t change the fact that to Keith’s lizard brain, this still felt like a date.

“You’d be a good boyfriend,” Shiro murmured, staring out at the headlights on the highway.

Keith was too young; barely grown, hardly used to this new body of his with the shape and all the desires of a man. And Shiro was both too old and simultaneously not old at all. 

Seven years was too much at this age. People would talk. They would be talking already, if it weren’t for Adam. Adam. An obstacle to Keith’s love, and yet without him…

Shiro’s eyes returned to his, travelled unhurriedly down his arms, over his stomach. Back up to his face.

...Keith couldn’t read his expression.

“Hey,” Shiro said. “Let’s get out of here.”


	4. Chapter 4

Keith stood at the end of the engineering wing, biding his time in the hallway as he waited for Shiro’s fifth period class to let out. It was a Wednesday, meaning Keith hadn’t been able to make it to the cafeteria to share the good news: he’d broken a new best in the single-person simulator, and effectively set a new record for his year while he was at it. News travelled fast, though; Shiro had texted Keith after lunch break with an offer to treat him to dinner as congratulations. Keith had asked who else was coming. Shiro’s reply was instantaneous.

 _Up to you. I’m always OK with keeping it just us two, if that’s what you’d want_. Fuck. He always seemed to know exactly what Keith wanted, exactly when he was most hesitant to say it.

Keith thought back to the other night, when Shiro had dropped him off at his dorm after dinner. The way Shiro had touched his elbow as he’d fumbled for his keys, gentle yet firm. Keith imagined a different scenario in which Shiro would follow him into his room, into the dark. He hadn’t been able to meet Shiro’s eyes as he turned the deadbolt, but why? Was he afraid of what he wouldn’t find there? Maybe he was afraid of what he would.

Now Keith was waiting for him to go on another… go hang out again. He was excited by the prospect of having another evening with Shiro all to himself, and so soon.

As he was checking his phone for the time he felt a hand on his shoulder. Shiro. He smiled a bit as Shiro squeezed his shoulder, then released it. But instead of pulling away it dragged down his back, sending a tingle through him--settled at the small of his back.

“Shiro--" he turned to face him then froze. That wasn't Shiro.

It was Adam.

Adam was smiling at him, looking almost smug, then seemed to realize something at the same time as Keith. This time he could see it in his eyes.

Keith had thought he was Shiro. Then he had moved his hand down his back. And _Keith had still thought he was Shiro._

Adam’s mouth twitched in an odd expression. He saw something like fury rise in his eyes, but it was much deeper than that. It felt like staring at something ancient, an anger that had existed long before touching him, before the incident on the couch, before Adam had even known Keith. Maybe even Shiro. It felt like it, whatever the emotion in his eyes was, was an integral part of what made up Adam and it _scared_ Keith.

“Keith,” he started, voice uncomfortably normal. “Waiting for Shiro?”

Keith swallowed dryly. “I--yeah.” Adam’s right hand didn’t move from its position just above his waistband. Keith felt a thumb work circles into his skin. “What...what are you doing?”

“Me too,” Adam said smoothly, ignoring Keith’s question outright. His thumb wormed under the hem of Keith’s uniform jacket, and Keith, who was out of dress code on this abnormally hot day, felt a nail press into his bare flesh. “You guys have plans after this class?”

“I--” Keith was sweating, folding the way he knew he always did, always would under the unrelenting force that was Adam. The nail dug painfully into his back. “Shiro...Shiro said we were going to dinner to...celebrate my new record.” Adam took a step forward, forcing Keith to likewise take a step away. His grip tightened again.

“Mind if I join you?” Adam inquired, expression hard as steel. “I’d love to help celebrate.” Another step forward, another step back--then another, and another. Keith’s back hit the solid wall of the hallway and Adam moved into the space between his feet. Between his legs. Keith trembled as Adam gripped his hip entire.

“Are you--” Keith couldn’t look away from Adam’s looming face the same way a mouse was unable to look away from the hypnotizing eyes of a snake. He was so much bigger. Stronger. “Are you going to hurt me?”

A silence stretched between them, each second passing from the question only seeming to drive Adam closer, his nail deeper into his skin. Slowly a smile began to form on his face. It was wider than Keith was used to, stretching the skin next to his mouth, and then it was back to normal.

“It’s a very important achievement,” Adam told him. “We’re all very proud of you. In fact, I have to insist on coming. I wouldn't want you to feel like we hadn’t properly celebrated.”

A bell sounded sharply and the classes were let out. A withering feeling of stupidity hit Keith for even thinking it was Shiro to begin with - how could he have been there if class wasn’t out? He drew in a sharp breath of air, but before he could say anything Shiro’s voice rang out.

“Keith?”

Adam pulled back, nails digging into him one last time before his hand dropped.

“He’s over here, Shiro.”

“Hey,” Shiro greeted, arranging his textbooks under one arm. “Ready to go?” Adam stretched out as he approached and Shiro willingly gave himself over for a chaste kiss, allowing an arm to wind around his shoulders. “Adam. I told you, just me and Keith tonight.” He glanced over at Keith with what could be mistaken for hope. “Unless you changed your mind…?”

“I don’t understand,” Keith muttered, before he could stop himself. His face still burned from having Adam in such close proximity. “Do you want to bring him or not?”

“What was that?” Adam’s eyes widened a hair. A warning, that Shiro, situated between the two of them, wasn’t privy to. “What did you say?” It was the closest Keith had ever come to challenging Adam, and despite his fleeting moxie Keith’s knees were shaking under his stare. “Keith. _What did you say_?”

Keith’s whisper came out fissured. “Nothing.” Adam quickly turned to Shiro.

“Maybe we should reschedule. Keith clearly isn’t feeling well.”

“Are you stressed because of your quiz tomorrow?” Shiro asked with concern, unwilling to concede the evening so easily. “I could always dig through my old coursework, lend you some notes--”

“Is that such a good idea?” Adam interrupted, stroking Shiro’s arm and speaking as though Keith weren’t there. “After what happened with the keychain, I mean.” Keith’s shoulders rose to his ears as Adam retrained his wide eyes on him. “You really should be more careful with things that don’t belong to you.” Shiro opened his mouth, most likely to defuse the situation, tell Keith once again that he’d forgiven him, that it was okay, but.

“Adam--”

“I’m not coming,” Keith ejected, and briskly escaped the two of them, Shiro calling after him with every step. A familiar pair of glasses bobbed into view as Keith raised his head.

Matt. He’d seen everything.

***

Keith slumped back against the outside of the building, sliding down and hugging his knees. He bowed his head into them just as the sound of quick footsteps approached.

“Keith?” It was Matt. Keith didn't look up. He could tell Matt was standing there staring at him for a while, but then he heard the sounds of him sitting next to him, felt his shoulder bump him.

The two sat in silence for a while as Keith breathed heavily, trying to calm his pounding heart. He felt overwhelmed, attacked from all sides, like he might cry. Finally, Matt spoke.

“I don’t know what all happened between you, but I saw the way Adam was looking at you while you three talked.” Keith didn't look up, though he had gone very still. “I believe you. That Adam has something against you.”

Keith slowly raised his head, looking out over the grounds. He felt numb, like there was no way that Matt could really believe him. Maybe he was lying-- but no, he knew Matt. The two shared another heavy silence.

“Do you...” Matt began, then started anew. “Do you know what that something might be?” Keith wrapped his arms tighter around his knees and pointedly avoided eye contact.

“No.” A half-truth. Matt sighed.

“I’m gonna talk to him.”

Keith unwound his arms and legs with a start. “Don’t—”

“Well someone has to,” Matt insisted. Keith snapped his mouth closed with an audible click. “This can’t just continue. Look, why don’t you just take tonight and try to calm down? The gym doesn’t get locked up after hours, how about you and me sneak on in and work off some steam? You might feel better.”

“Thanks,” Keith said, working a hand into his hair, “but if I’m going to work off steam I’d rather it be by myself.” Or with Shiro. But Matt didn’t need to know that.

“All right,” Matt relented. “Just think about it. Like I said, I’ll talk to Adam, all right? I’ll check in with you tomorrow, let you know what he said, where things stand. I just hate seeing you like this, you know?”

“Yeah, I mean.” Keith shook his head, took a breath of fresh air. His head was pounding in time with his heart. “All right. Thanks.”

Matt smiled and gave Keith’s back a hearty thump. Keith knew it was meant to be encouraging but he had very little hope for the situation. They parted ways and Keith headed back to his dorm, feeling exhausted.

To his surprise he ended up crashing for a while. When he woke up he overall felt, admittedly, a little better. Maybe things would turn out alright. Matt at least seemed to be on his side. Maybe having someone confront Adam about it would make him pull back a bit. He forced back the doubts that immediately started to creep in and munched on a protein bar.

Keith bided his time, waiting til his roommate had gone to bed to sneak out to the gym. He had been worried about running into someone who would question him, but the Garrison was blessedly free of people. He snuck in easily enough and headed towards the back where he wouldn't be seen from the door.

He didn’t really know what he was doing, Keith thought, as he sat down on one of the wide mats blanketing the south end of the gym to stretch himself out. With the situation, not in the gym. Keith knew how to pace a workout, knew what to do with a punching bag. That was the easy part. Physical things were easy, for the most part. It was the emotional shit that made things so fucking complicated. Keith stewed on that as he got up and made a beeline for the gym equipment in the far corner, bypassing the speed bags in favor of the heavy variety.

Keith would cut out his heart if given the chance. The stupid thing certainly wasn’t doing him any favors. In fact, it just might be the source of all of his problems; if the niggling, wormlike feeling at the back of Keith’s brain wasn’t mistaken, the _problem_ Adam seemed to--no, definitely _did_ have with Keith most likely stemmed from the fact that Keith was harboring inappropriate feelings for his boyfriend. Nurturing those inappropriate feelings. Dreaming of acting on those feelings, having them reciprocated. Keith was working up a sweat.

The roots of his crush had since grown deep into the soil of his character. So much so that by now, if it were even still possible to rip his love for Shiro out by the stem the way he had attempted so many times before, Keith was unsure that his feelings wouldn’t grow right back--germinating, blossoming, spreading seeds in the wind as an unwanted plant might. A dandelion. A weed.

God. Keith’s arm reverberated with his last punch. He was so, fucking, fucked.

Footsteps sounded in the corridor outside the gymnasium and Keith paused, heaving. Whoever it was was coming closer. The janitor?

The handle turned and Keith dove behind the tall set of spectation bleachers he had sat on only a couple weeks ago, when Matt had invited him in to watch his section’s PT evaluation. The door swung open, and.

“Adam, we’re going to get in trouble,” Shiro laughed. Keith could barely see their figures, one pulling the other into the room. He stared in horror as the two came into limited view, Adam immediately pulling Shiro in for a kiss. Shiro made a sound of surprise but didnt pull away. When Adam finally broke it, he asked, “What's all this about?”

“What, are you saying the romance is dead? We haven't been together _that_ long, Shiro.”

That made Shiro laugh again. It set Keith's teeth on edge. “That's not what I mean! It's just been a while since we've done something like this.”

Adam kissed him again, running his hand down Shiro’s back and Keith felt his stomach turn. He heard Shiro make a muffled, pleased sound then pull away. “Adam, we can’t. What if someone comes in?”

“No one’s going to come in, Shiro. It’s way after hours.”

“Maybe. There are a lot of places to hide here, though, you know?”

Keith could hear Adam sigh, but it sounded more like he was humoring him than anything. “Alright, alright. I'll check, okay?”

He leaned in and whispered something that Keith couldn't hear. It made Shiro giggle. Keith shrank in on himself as Adam walked around the gym, checking behind what little equipment there was just to assuage Shiro’s fears.

Adam’s footsteps came closer and closer. Keith looked back from him to the door, desperately hoping for an escape route to materialize. It didn't. He shrank in on himself as Adam came behind the bleachers and--

Found him.

Adam stared down at him, a long moment passing between them where Keith couldn't breathe at all. He watched as a smile slowly spread across Adam’s face.

“We’re all clear, Shiro. No one’s here.”

Adam took a few unblinking steps backward, maintaining eye contact, then turned on his heel, shooting Shiro the most casual of smiles and striding back toward the mats. Keith was more than relieved to be set free from the familiar, unnerving weight of his stare. He squeezed his eyes shut with enough force to send colorless patterns sparkling across the darkness behind his eyelids, took a grounding breath. Adam had caught him, of all people. The worst case scenario, if Keith was being honest. But if this was the worst, it wasn’t so bad. For all intents and purposes, it seemed as if Adam planned to overlook this particular transgression.

...Right. Hadn’t Shiro always told him so? That Adam was on his side? Keith had always found it so hard to believe--and yet wasn’t this ultimately evidence enough?

He sat up as best he could in the cramped space between the bleachers and the wall. All right. Adam wasn’t planning to tell Shiro that Keith was present. Which meant he was going to herd Shiro out of the gym, give Keith a chance to escape, probably scold him a little in private tomorrow morning. That was fine. Keith could live with that. There was nothing to it now but to wait for the two of them to clear the gym, which would happen any moment.

Keith turned back to the scene before him and instantly arrived at a series of realizations. First, that he was an idiot. Second, that there was no escaping the situation in which he had found himself. And third:

He had underestimated Adam. To a grave degree.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Shiro asked with a grin as Adam stalked closer to him. “Like the cat that caught the canary.”

“Because that’s exactly what I’ve done,” Adam replied smoothly, taking Shiro in his arms. Shiro’s hand found purchase at the nape of Adam’s neck and Adam kissed him, deeply. “I’m the cat. And I’ve got you right where I want you. Don’t try to escape.”

Shiro chased his mouth. “That’s the last thing you need to be concerned about.” Keith watched in revulsion as Shiro’s free hand slid down Adam’s back, cupped the cheek of his ass through his uniform. Adam yanked Shiro forward at that, rolling their hips together. Shiro groaned.

“I’ve been thinking about you all day,” Adam said, repeating the motion. “Thinking about getting you out of your clothes--peeling that ugly uniform off that pretty skin.”

“Why don’t you, then?” Shiro contested playfully. An invitation. Keith’s stomach gifted him with a wave of nausea at the thought, but Adam had other plans.

“No,” he said, reaching behind himself to press Shiro’s hand more firmly against his ass. “I’d rather you do it for me.” Something electric passed between the two of them and Shiro pulled away, reaching for the top button on his uniform jacket. Adam caught his hand as it came apart with a snap. “Wait. Over here.”

The knobs of Keith’s spine dug painfully into the wall as Adam led Shiro onto the mats before the bleachers.

“How much should I leave on?” Shiro asked demurely, as the uniform jacket came off. Keith was close enough to catch a whiff of Shiro’s antiperspirant. His body reacted on its own. _No!_

“Nothing,” Adam answered, with authoritas. “Not even your socks.” Shiro laughed, but from what Keith could tell he had every intention to comply.

“We’re fucked if someone comes in,” he chuckled. “But that’s half the fun.” Shiro’s pants dropped, then his boxer briefs. Keith was sweating, erection growing--he didn’t want this, God,  he didn’t _like_ this, but Shiro… _beautiful_ Shiro was already half hard, biting his lip, and Adam was kissing him, stroking his sides, touching his cock.

Adam put his hand on the top of Shiro’s head and reached into his pocket to retrieve a small, clear bottle which Shiro took before dropping to his knees. Adam ran a hand over the tented front of his slacks and Shiro batted his hand away to unzip his pants, pulled his erection out with a smirk. Keith pressed a hand to his mouth to muffle a sob as Shiro lubed his fingers and reached behind himself. Adam guided Shiro’s face to his cock and soon Shiro’s head was bobbing in time with his wrist.

Keith’s head was pounding, crotch throbbing, shoulders screaming from their cramped position. His vision blurred as Shiro’s mouth pulled off of Adam with a _pop_. He was crying, and hard, but this wouldn’t stop, not for anything--not when Adam shoved his pants down to his thighs, not when he nudged Shiro onto his hands and knees, put his face down and his ass up, and not when he pushed into Shiro with a breathy, mutual moan, quickly falling into a fast and punishing rhythm that had Shiro rocking forward with every thrust.

Keith tried closing his ears, shutting his eyes, but it was no use; even with his hands over his ears he could hear it, the terrible slapping of skin, Adam’s possessive grunts and the sounds Shiro made that went straight to Keith’s leaking--

“Adam,” Shiro groaned. Keith gagged violently. “Adam, almost--”

“I was worried,” Adam tossed out between breaths. “Matt said Keith might be in here after hours. Said he might be, you know, training--”

“Don’t mention Keith, what the fuck,” Shiro gritted out. “Of all the--fucking names--”

“I’ll mention whoever I want while I’m fucking you,” Adam replied coolly. “Bet you’d like that. If he was watching.” Keith shuddered, scraped at his knees with his fingernails. Everything hurt--his sore body, his untouched cock, his broken heart--

“I would not,” Shiro aspirated, “not like that at all--”

“If he was behind those fucking bleachers,” Adam growled, speeding the timing of his thrusts. “Watching us. Watching you. Watching me, put him in his damn place--show him what the hell it means to be an adult--since he thinks he is one--”

“It’s just a crush--” Shiro’s words came breathier and breathier, and-- “We’ve talked about this, it’s nothing, he--I’m his mentor, it’s natural for him to develop feelings for--” Keith shook with horror, bile rising rapidly because oh, God, Shiro knew, he _knew_ \--here he was crying, crowded into a dirty space three times too small for him, sickeningly aroused, heart splintering like a fallen branch and Shiro _knew_ he was in love with him, thought it was _nothing_ \--and he’d known the whole, damnable time.

“Babe,” Adam said, sweet as honey. “You know you can come if you want.”

“Adam,” Shiro whispered into the mats, “ _Adam_ \--”

Keith wrenched himself horizontal as Shiro came and vomited on the dusty gymnasium floor.

Time seemed to stretch out infinitely as Keith crouched there, the pounding in his head louder than any of the sounds as Adam finished, as they cleaned up, pulled their clothes back on. He only came back to reality when he heard Shiro speak.

“Adam, why the hell did you bring Keith up?”

Adam laughed softly. “No particular reason. He simply crossed my mind.”

“That's… not alright. Just, don't do that again.”

Another laugh, just as amiable as before. “I didn't know it would upset you so much. Don't worry, I won't again. How about you go on ahead? I'll make sure there isn't anything to clean up.”

“What, so you really had no intention of using the gym?” Shiro sounded amused.

“No, I suppose I didn't.”

The two said a few parting words, pausing to kiss briefly before Shiro headed out. Adam used some wipes that were available for cleaning. Keith listened to him moving around, heart pounding. His mouth tasted vile.

Finally he heard Adam’s footsteps approach. He came into view, smiling pleasantly at Keith. He stared at him for an uncomfortably long time, eyes boring into him.

“You know,” he started, as casually as if they were eating lunch together. “Even if you told someone-- even if you told Matt, he wouldn’t believe you.”

Adam let that sit between them, heavy and uncomfortable though he looked perfectly at ease. He glanced down to the ground, smile widening, then met his eyes again. “Clean that up.”

Adam turned on his heel and walked away. Only when Keith heard the click of the door closing did he start breathing again. He remained there a full minute before stepping over the mess and bolting from the room. He didn’t stop running until he had reached his dorm.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody~
> 
> Thank for reading up to this point and for all the wonderful comments. We're really getting this train a'rolling. Both of us read everything you guys write to us and get pretty excited about it even if we don't respond to everything, so thank you again! Seeing your enthusiasm really makes this a lot more fun.
> 
> See you for the next installment!

Keith hid for a long time.

Adam was right, he knew. No one would believe him, if he told them. Shiro would think him some sort of pervert, hiding outside the gym and listening in. Going to the administration was out of the question. And Matt--this was too much for even him to believe.

Not that Keith could bring himself to see Matt, anyway; he was usually in the vicinity of Shiro, who was in turn in the range of Adam, and seeing Shiro and Adam together, talking to each other, touching each other--it was more than enough to make Keith ill.

He skirted Shiro in the hall, actively ran from him if Shiro so much as glanced in his direction. Meeting for lunch was out of the question, and so was answering Shiro and even Matt’s increasingly frequent texts with anything more than a, _Yes. No. I’m fine._

 _Leave me alone_ , Keith silently begged, gripping his phone with nearly enough force to crack the screen. _Just leave me alone_.

And so one week turned into two, and two turned into five.

Keith was gathering his belongings from the desk of his seventh period class when an administrative TA came to fetch him. His Astrophysics I professor was waiting for him in her office. The first order of business was to congratulate him. His grades had reached the top of his class, without any issues with attendance or reported confrontations with his peers. Keith had known this was coming. He’d been a model student. All the better to avoid giving Shiro a reason to meet with him--which brought them to the second order of business. He’d been shirking his sessions with his mentor. She looked at him with genuine concern. Had something happened with Shirogane?

“Nothing’s happened, sir,” Keith replied, keeping his shoulders squared. “I’d just like the opportunity to prove that maybe I’ve outgrown my need for a mentor.”

“Interesting,” she said, tapping her pen on a half-marked stack of tests. “But please leave those decisions to the administration. Make an appointment with him as soon as you’re able. Dismissed.”

Keith felt exhausted as he made his way back. He had no intention to meet with Shiro and planned on putting it off as long as possible. Each footstep felt heavier than the last and it took a great deal of effort to keep going. He was jarred out of his concentration when he glanced through a half-open door to a lounge and caught sight of Matt and Shiro standing together. He was about to speed up when he heard--

_Keith_

His name. They were talking about him. Keith pressed his back to the wall outside the door, heart pounding. Part of him screamed for him to just run off, but the larger, more insistent part of him needed to know.

“I just don’t know what to do. He answers my texts, but it’s all just one word answers. Every time I see him I barely have a chance to say anything before he darts off. Has he been talking to you?” Shiro. Keith swallowed dryly.

“Barely.” Matt sounded uncomfortable. “I’m not sure if it’s something I said or…”

They were quiet for a moment. Shiro finally spoke up, hesitant. “Adam thinks that maybe it's a good thing that he’s keeping his distance. Because of…well, the way Keith sees me. He thinks healthy distance will help ease things. I keep telling him it’s nothing to worry about, but…”

Another silence. This one felt more weighted. When Matt spoke, his tone was careful. “Have you talked to Keith about it?”

“No, I really don’t want to make him uncomfortable.”

“Don’t you think he already _is_ uncomfortable?”

Shiro apparently didn't have anything to say to that. Keith had to remind himself to breathe, nerves on edge.

“Shiro, I’m going to be honest with you. I don’t dislike Adam, but I’ve always felt that the only reason he talks to Keith and me is because of you. I talked to Adam about things and… I don’t know. Maybe if you want to know what’s up with Keith, you should look at Adam.” Shiro started to speak up, but Matt continued. “It’s not just that. He told me how he found you two after your movie night.”

Shiro’s next words were under his breath. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about,” Matt said tightly. “I would feel weird too.”

“There’s nothing to feel weird about,” Shiro returned, though it was hollow somehow. “We’re close.” Keith wasn’t sure he knew what exactly was being discussed, anymore.

“I know.” Matt’s concession was clipped. “But if Keith feels the way you know he does, then I don’t have to tell you that...giving him… _physical_ affection like that, it isn’t--”

“Appropriate?” Shiro ended for him. Defensive. Angry. “It isn’t _right_? You think I don’t know that? That I don’t--tell myself that, every fucking day, that it’s _inappropriate_ , that it’s not _right_ , that I’m his _mentor_ for fuck’s sake, that--” A beat. “That he can’t know. That it can’t happen.”

“Shiro,” Matt tested quietly, lowering his voice as Keith felt the blood draining from his head. “I--I don’t want to push you on this, but--if you’re seriously saying what I think you’re saying--”

“Technically, I’m your superior officer.” Shiro’s voice had gone just as low. “So I think it’s best I don’t answer that.” Matt swore.

“Shit--I mean… _Adam_ , does he--”

“I think he does. On some level. He’s noticed something, he’s perceptive.” There was a rustle of clothing as Shiro shifted. Keith was going to _faint_. “Like I said, I keep telling him it-- _this_ is nothing to worry about, but the _this_ he knows of and the _this_ I’m talking about, it’s--they’re--”

“Two different things,” Matt muttered, finishing the thought. “Shiro...are you going to break up with him?”

“Over what?” Shiro laughed bitterly. “We have a good thing going, here. It’s not that I don’t have feelings for him, you know, we...we don’t fight, if it’s not over Kerberos--if I left he’d know the reason, no doubt about it that he’d know. And without him...people might start to look closer, Matt, I don’t like any of this but please understand.”

“I--” Matt audibly clamped his mouth shut and remained silent for a spell. Keith imagined he could hear him, rubbing his eyelids with his thumb and forefinger as he was wont to do. “What are you going to do?”

“Nothing,” Shiro said stonily. “That’s the entire point. House of cards, Matt--touch one and the whole thing comes tumbling down. Things stay the way they are. And if you say _anything_ \--and I _mean_ that, when I say _anything_ \--”

“Jesus--I wouldn’t, Shiro, don’t you know that?”

Shiro sighed. A muffled sound. “...Sorry, I--I know, I do, it’s just--” A break. “...Has that door always been open?”

“I think so,” Matt said. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll go close it.” Footsteps approached from the opposite side of the wall and Keith ducked around the closest corner before Matt might discover him, strides falling longer and faster as he headed back toward the dorms. His feet had wings. And why shouldn’t they? Keith had arguably just received the best news of his short life.

_Shiro liked him too._

Something primal and reactionary reared its head. _Mine_. The need to possess. It had always been there, had been the reason Keith preferred to be alone with Shiro from the start. But could Shiro _be_ his? Emotionally. In the physical sense. In all the ways that mattered and counted. No, Keith knew. Not now. There was one thing Keith saw as an obstacle, and it wasn’t his age.

Adam. A revelation, then: Keith hated him. Keith HATED HIM, KEITH _LOATHED_ HIM, Keith let it seep into his being like sand through a sieve--let it make him bold, make him...predatory. And maybe this was more natural than Keith would have otherwise thought; maybe instead of cowering in his fear of Adam he should have let this overtake him months ago and used what spine he did have to wreak havoc on the status quo. Well. If Keith didn’t feel _grown_ before he certainly did now. Call it juvenescence--boyhood, a well-timed splash of hormones. Call it daybreak. Didn’t matter. None of it was true. Keith was deciding well and proper today that he was an adult.

He strolled into his empty room and cracked his neck, rolled his shoulders. There was a new notification blinking from his phone where he had left it charging on the nightstand port. A text message. _Shiro_.

 

_Hey._

_Your professor messaged me about setting up a meeting. You know I don’t want to pressure you, but this is one of those things I can’t squeeze you out of, even if I wanted to._

_You’ve seemed distant lately. Not sure if it’s something we or I did or not. We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but we do have to meet at some point._

_I miss you when you don’t come around, you know._

_Send me a message back when you have the chance. Any time and date is OK. I hope you’re well._

_\- Shiro_

 

Keith ran a finger over the smooth screen in consideration. Maybe he was done with one-word answers.

Maybe he wanted to try his luck.

 

_Hey yourself._

_Sorry. I’ve been busy. You said any time, right? Friday after lunch block works for me._

_I miss you too. See you soon._

_\- Keith_

***

Keith’s mental state had been in a period of shift ever since overhearing the conversation. At some moments he was on cloud nine, replaying what Shiro had said over and over in his mind. At other times he was consumed by frustration, by hate for Adam. He spent time pacing in his room, waiting for the appointed day to meet Shiro.

Someone else was on his mind, too -- Matt. He had been on his side, supported him in the conversation with Shiro. Adam’s words echoed in his head, telling him that no one would believe him, that *Matt* wouldn't believe him. But he was starting to think that wasn’t the case. By Tuesday he had resolved to tell Matt what he had seen, what Adam had said to him. Matt would believe him.

Tuesday was usually the day Adam didn’t join the group for lunch. He usually had something to do with an extracurricular group he was a part of and Keith felt confident as he walked to the cafeteria. He pushed the door open and made a beeline for the usual table, immediately locating Matt and--

 _Adam_.

They were laughing together about something, Matt retelling some story that Adam was smiling along to. Keith froze by a pillar, watching them, and found his will to say anything drain away.

“Keith.”

He turned around expectantly. Keith knew that voice, anywhere. Shiro.

“Not heading over?” he was saying, closing in with both hands safely in his pockets. “We can grab food together, if you want.” Keith deliberately put his hand on Shiro’s forearm and maneuvered them around the pillar until they were out of sight.

“Yeah,” he agreed, “but I actually was hoping to get you alone, first.”

Shiro looked surprised but not displeased by this development. “Something wrong?”

“No,” Keith said, releasing Shiro’s arm and stepping a little closer into his space. Satisfaction rose within him as he noted that Shiro didn’t move away. “It’s just easier when it’s just you.”

Shiro beamed. “Haven’t seen you in a while. I got your message—well,” he stumbled, scratching his neck, “I guess you know that—”

“How are you?” Keith rerouted, moving closer again. Shiro looked grateful for the minor save.

“I’m okay. Been busy with testing for Kerberos, you know? And catching a bit of heat, too, if I’m being honest.”

“For what?” Keith asked, keeping his voice soft.

“From Adam, about the whole affair. From the administration.” Shiro quirked an eyebrow at him and Keith felt his stomach do a backflip. “And from your supervising professor, about missing our meetings.”

“Adam will come around,” Keith reassured, though if he was honest he was starting to doubt it himself. “And we’re meeting today and later on. So no stress.” Shiro’s smile widened and he put a hand on Keith’s shoulder—in the familiar place, at least at first. Shiro’s palm fell south a bit, over the curve of his deltoid. Keith watched Shiro’s gaze lower, then soften. Now was as good a time as any. “Shiro.”

Shiro met his eyes. “Mm?” Keith put a hand around the wrist at his shoulder.

“If you’re gonna touch me?” He removed Shiro’s hand from his arm. Repositioned it where he wanted. Shiro’s eyes widened as his palm was pressed flat against the crest of Keith’s hip, pinky finger just brushing the swell of his ass. Keith recaptured his line of sight, knowing Shiro could read the intent in his gaze. “Then touch me where I can feel it.”

Shiro was as unmoving as the marble he might have been carved from. Keith took his silence as understanding and let go of his wrist. Shiro’s hand stayed planted.

“All right?”

“...Let’s eat,” Shiro rasped, letting his hand fall from Keith’s hip and starting off toward the lunch line. Keith fell into step behind him with a smirk. Yes. Let’s.

They joined the others at the table, Keith slipping into a seat next to Shiro. Adam smiled at him, but he couldn't detect what was under it. Shiro started talking about some assignment he had been given and Keith found it difficult to pay attention with Adam’s eyes on him. He tuned in somewhere later in the conversation when he noticed Adam’s attention pulling away from him and onto Shiro.

“You were supposed to be off that day. We had plans to go into the city, Shiro, don't you remember?”

A look of annoyance passed briefly over Shiro’s face. “...No, Adam. I told you I couldn't go anymore. Don't _you_ remember?”

“Really, I think tutoring for free is rather silly. It’s not like you're their mentor, like with Keith.” Adam tilted his head to the side, smiling. Shiro’s expression faltered and he shook his head.

“We talked about this last week. I told you my decision wouldn’t change.” Shiro frowned.

Keith heard Adam’s teeth click as his jaw tightened. He smiled sweetly at Shiro, waiting to see if he would break or bend. When Shiro met his gaze steadily he laughed. “Oh, that’s right. I must have forgotten.”

“Well I think it’s pretty awesome that Shiro puts his time toward a cause like that,” Keith tossed in conversationally, poking at his green beans with a shrug. “People like him understand what a community is and the impact it can have on underprivileged kids. I know because I used to be one. And I think it’s _sad_ that people _unlike_ him can’t support that just because think they’re too good for volunteering. Said people are assholes. Just my two cents.” The clink of his fork against the plate was deafening in the ensuing relative silence.

“Jesus, Keith,” Matt said, once he’d collected his jaw up off the floor. Shiro was still as death while Adam looked positively thunderstruck. “Tell us what you really think.”

“Like I said, just a thought.” Keith restrained a smirk as he stabbed another bean. “But hey, you know. Maybe good boyfriends are hard to come by.” Matt choked on his food as Adam visibly twitched. Shiro was sweating, hard. Keith touched his ankle to his and Shiro jumped a mile.

“ _Don’t do that!_ ” Keith smiled innocently as the others looked on in confusion. Shiro redirected in an instant, reaching for his sports drink and speaking into the bottle to mask his discomposure before taking a measured draught. “...Say things like that, I mean. You mean well, but a relationship is between two people, Keith.”

“Okay,” Keith said sweetly. Adam was staring, silent rage etched into the lines of his face. Keith pretended he didn’t notice. Keith was emboldened by Shiro sitting right next to him, entirely unbothered by the prospect of potential retaliation. Thoughts like that would come later, once the rush that came with uncorking this bottled-up mess wore off. Right now, Keith was feeling a lot more like his old self; the one that came before Adam’s intense ire. And if Shiro or Matt wanted to know the reason for the change?

Keith was _tired_. Just the way Adam had convinced them he was.

The atmosphere at the table was palpably uncomfortable. Most of it seemed to be radiating from Adam, though Shiro seemed suddenly tense. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Adam? Can you come with me? I need to talk to you alone.”

Adam raised his eyebrows but stood. Shiro copied him, hesitating before placing a hand on Keith’s shoulder. It fell away as he walked off.

Keith felt a glow of accomplishment as they walked away, pushing his food around a bit. He had been emboldened by what he had overheard and he felt like the strange hold Adam had on him had gained some wiggle room.

“Keith, I was wondering.” Matt’s words pulled him out of his thoughts. “Have things been any better with Adam? I talked to him and I think he understood where I was coming from.”

Keith hesitated. Truthfully, no, they hadn't been. Part of him ached to tell Matt what had happened in the gym, but he had to be delicate with this. He couldn't rock the boat too much. He felt confident for the first time in what felt like forever.

“...Yeah, they have been. Thanks, Matt.”

Their heads turned as they watched Shiro walk back to the table, picking up his and Adam’s trays. “I’ll catch you guys later, okay?”

Matt nodded and Keith turned to look at Shiro. His eyes traveled up the length of Shiro’s body and locked with his. Shiro stood still as if trapped by the gaze. Keith kept his steady and it was as though he could see Shiro’s resolve wilt. Shiro finally broke the stare and turned, walking out of the cafeteria and Keith let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding.

Keith had seen his opening and he planned to take it.

***

It was late when Keith turned down for bed, feeling revitalized after a hot but regulation-length shower. He sat down on his bed, quietly so as not to wake his roommate, and picked his phone up from the nightstand as he pulled the covers over his legs. Shiro had texted him. As expected.

 

 _Where would you like to meet this Friday?_ And.

_We really need to talk._

 

Okay, Keith thought as a smirk briefly graced his face. If Shiro wanted to talk, then they would talk.

 

_I might be pressed for time on Friday. Meet me at my room, around 2?_

_I think so too. Looking forward to it._

_Good night._


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and who is the lamb and who is the knife

Whatever power Adam had taken over Keith felt a million miles away. Training went smoothly. A minor simulation came and went without a hitch. Friday approached swiftly, but dragged on late at night when he was trying to sleep.

The day hit Keith hard enough to wake him up an hour before his alarm. He lay in bed, head turning the possible outcomes of their meeting over and over until his stomach followed suit and he started feeling sick. The day flew by, but he occasionally pulled himself out of his mind to find that time was passing too slowly, every minute dragging out further and further, pushing Shiro further from him and—

He was overreacting. It was just nerves. Keith sat on his bed waiting for Shiro to show up and idly ran his tongue over his teeth. He felt like this whole time he had been Adam’s prey and now… now what? He tried to follow the thought to its logical conclusion but found himself at a loss. What did that make him now?

The thought was interrupted by a knock on the door. Keith’s head snapped up to look at it. “Come in.”

The door opened and Shiro stepped in, looking oddly reserved and ill at ease. It would probably have been imperceptible to someone who didn't know Shiro like Keith did. He wondered if Adam would have noticed.

“Hey, Shiro.” Shiro smiled at him and made his way over, grabbing his desk chair and bringing it over. He set it a few feet from Keith and started to sit down.

“You can sit here if you want.”

Shiro’s smile faltered and Keith could see him reset. “I'm— sorry, what?”

Keith gave him a relaxed, deadpan expression. He was so relaxed around Shiro, even if his mentor was anxious. “I mean, you can sit on my bed if you want.”

Shiro met his eyes and went still, looking like an animal in a trap. Then suddenly he broke out and sat down on the chair. He pressed forward, choosing to put the offer behind them.

“How have you been, Keith? I've been worried about you.”

Keith shrugged. “Actually I've been really good. I had a rough patch there for a while and I'm sorry for not talking to you. But things are actually… really great right now.”

Shiro’s eyes widened and he looked a little taken aback. “Really? Um… well, that's great to hear, Keith. Do you mind me asking what was up, though? It seemed pretty bad.”

He didn't fully believe Keith. That was alright. Keith smiled. “To be honest, I was doubting whether or not I should be here. And... I think I was feeling insecure about my friendship with Adam. But now I've realized that it was all in my head.”

“Oh? Adam?” Shiro looked like he was struggling to keep up with this very simple explanation. He almost looked panicked.

“Yeah. Don’t worry about it, we’re good now.” Keith shrugged. “Other than that, everything’s pretty good. I've been feeling pretty confident with my studies.”

Shiro nodded, mouth pulled into a line. He chewed lightly on his lip for a moment then met Keith’s eyes. “Are you sure that's all?”

Keith laughed, feeling a genuine lightness in his chest. Shiro cared about him. “Are you really that worried? I promise, I feel worlds better.”

A silence fell between them. Shiro shifted nervously, but Keith found it quite comfortable. He just watched Shiro, taking in how he looked, the kindness etched into the corners of his eyes. Keith felt like he could taste it. “Shiro. Are _you_ doing okay?”

“What? Yeah, I'm fine, I'm just worried about you.” Shiro exhaled and rubbed at the back of his neck. “I’m glad you seem to be doing alright, but I still feel like things aren't okay.”

Keith slid forward on his bed, leaning towards Shiro and reaching out. Shiro went deathly still and Keith saw his eyes dilate when his shoulder was touched. Keith squeezed it. “Don’t worry about it.”

Shiro opened his mouth to say something else, but nothing came and it snapped shut. He met Keith’s eyes, frozen.

Keith released Shiro’s shoulder and sat back on the bed without breaking his gaze. This was new territory—for Keith, at least—but uncharted needn’t presuppose danger. Not for Keith. Shiro, on the other hand. Keith wasn’t imagining the sweat beading at that temple, in a room with the A/C on full blast. He broke his own stare and dragged his eyes over Shiro’s spread knees, then between them, lingering purposefully on the slight bulge in his uniform pants. Shiro leaned forward and interlaced his fingers, elbows on his knees obstructing Keith’s line of sight. Purposeful. Subtle. So very Shiro.

“Listen,” he said, eyes on the empty bed across the room. “...Keith—”

“If you’re not about to say what needs to be said,” Keith murmured, capturing Shiro’s eyes again, “then don’t bother.” Shiro swallowed, but there was a spark of curiosity in his eyes.

“I’m not sure I follow.”

“You’re about to try and let me down easy,” Keith hazarded. “You’re going to tell me something you think I don’t know you know. And I didn’t know you did, for a while. But that changed recently.”

“And what is _that_ exactly?” Shiro asked gently, briefly letting his own gaze slip lower as Keith wet his lips.

Keith smiled and bit his lip. A confession was a confession, after all. “That I like you.” Shiro paled.

“W-Well,” he stammered, recomposing himself, “I was...going to bring that up, yes—it was something I’d hoped to avoid discussing, but after—after what you did in the lunchroom, I really—” Keith extended a leg and pressed their ankles together just the same as he had done beneath the cafeteria table earlier that week.

“You were going to bring that up,” he agreed, once Shiro’s mouth had clicked shut in surprise. “But that’s not what needs to be said.” Shiro’s jaw clenched hard enough for Keith to see the shift of it under his temple. “Is it?”

“If you’re going to tell me what you’re getting at,” Shiro muttered, “then do it.”

“I like you,” Keith admitted, withdrawing his foot. “But you also like me.” Shiro’s eyes grew wide on his face. Keith met them with matched intensity. “Deny it. Say you don’t.”

“I _don’t_ ,” Shiro avowed, with rehearsed conviction—though he remained in his chair. “I do _not_ , that would be— _highly_ inappropriate, not to mention unconscionable in light of my current relationship, as well as my ranking above you as both superior officer and mentor, and I—I _understand_ your position, Keith, it’s only natural that you might develop… _feelings_ for me considering we have a close relationship, and expected that you might possibly want those feelings returned, but you also need to understand me when I tell you that is _absolutely not_ the case, and it is my _responsibility_ not to mislead you. Is that clear?” Shiro’s chest heaved, hands clutching his knees as he awaited a response that never came. “Keith!”

“Now admit it,” said Keith, leaning forward eagerly. “Now say you do.”

“ _Keith_ ,” Shiro all but gasped, spine pressed against the back of the chair.

“I know you do,” Keith pressed, lifting himself from the bed. “I know it. Tell me the truth.”

“I’ve already told you the truth,” Shiro pleaded as Keith closed in. “Keith-!” His protest caught in his throat as Keith’s hands found purchase on his shoulders, Keith’s thighs settled over his hips.

“I know you’re lying because you haven’t pushed me away. Because you won’t push me away.” Keith took hold of Shiro’s collar and pulled their foreheads flush. “And because I overheard you talking to Matt in the officer’s lounge—” Shiro grimaced at that, let his head fall to the side in defeat— “I heard you telling him you liked me, now say it to me, Shiro—tell me you like me too, Shiro, tell me you like me too—”

“All right.” Shiro’s large hands cupped Keith’s face. His eyes were full of painful resignation. “All right, I—I do, I—”

Keith felt his face crumple. “Shiro—” Shiro’s mouth was on his, then—his first kiss, Keith realized, and Shiro of all people was guiding him through it. He twisted his fingers in the short strands of Shiro’s hair and let himself be kissed, kissed _back_ , hard and repeated, until Shiro’s tongue teased open the seal of his lips. Keith moaned as his blood rushed south.

“Keith,” Shiro whispered, teasing his lower lip with his teeth. His hands encircled Keith’s waist as Keith’s fingers played with the closure of his green uniform jacket. Keith could feel Shiro’s thick arousal growing against his own and his hips rolled into the sensation of their own accord. The groan that resulted from Shiro was something he was unprepared for, much like the way Shiro’s hands slipped under his ass, kneading and lifting until Shiro’s erection sat between the cheeks, and his own was pressed firm against the hard wall of Shiro’s abdomen. “Again.” Keith ground down again, deliciously _harder_ this time, and Shiro bucked up into the cleft of his ass, pulled him down by the hips to repeat the motion again and again. Keith’s cock was leaking into his pants by the time Shiro’s firm tugs turned to yanks, the smooth motion of his hips under Keith’s spiking desperate and sharp. Shiro’s mouth rediscovered Keith’s and everything was suddenly too wet and heady to bear.

“I’m going to prop this chair under the door handle,” Keith inserted in a rush, separating from Shiro’s chasing lips, “and then you’re going to take off my clothes.”

“No, I—,” Shiro protested, though his hips never faltered. “This can’t happen, I—shouldn’t be doing—”

“You want me.” Keith lowered his voice as he directed it into Shiro’s ear, lifting Shiro’s hands from his hips to grind down at his own ragged pace. “And I want you to fuck me.”

“I want you,” Shiro confessed, eyes squeezed shut, breath hitching with every movement. “I want you in my bed, want you—want you to—”

Keith started to pull back, ready to coax Shiro out of the chair and take it over to the door, but he never got the chance. His back hit the bed and then Shiro was on him, the weight of his chest pushing down against him and making it hard to breathe. Shiro’s lips came hot to his neck, mouthing against it, barely sucking on the skin. A moan escaped him as Shiro’s hips met with his and his head tipped back.

The thought that his roommate could walk in flitted past his mind then fled it completely. Even if someone saw them— even if Keith looked up and _Adam_ was standing over him he didn’t think he would pull away. For a moment he imagined that Adam was there, staring down hatefully, completely unable to do anything about it. Keith reached a hand to the back of Shiro’s neck, pulling him closer protectively — possessively. His lips parted and with something like victory, he moaned,

“Shiro…”

“ _Keith_ ,” Shiro breathed immediately, teeth grazing his skin as he forced their hips together. Keith couldn’t help but cry out softly and then there was Shiro’s hand in his hair, petting through it frantically, soothing him. That was Shiro, always looking out for him. That was his Shiro.

Shiro pulled back to look at him, eyes wide and stricken like he had just realized what he was doing. His mouth moved wordlessly, no doubt trying to come up with an excuse or an apology. Keith gently touched his face, smoothing his palm over his cheek. “Shh. It’s alright, Shiro. I want this. We want this.”

Shiro’s expression twisted and then settled into something like resolve. He could no longer meet Keith’s eyes. When Keith tried, Shiro shifted suddenly and pulled back from him. For a moment Keith thought he was going to leave, but then he was grabbing Keith’s shoulder and turning him around, pressing him face down against the bed. Keith opened his mouth to ask what he was doing, but the words were immediately cut off and replaced by a moan as Shiro’s chest hit his back, hips coming up to press against his ass. Keith’s eyes went wide, then lowered as his vision went hazy. _Yes_.

The sound of the bed creaking seemed to go in time with Keith’s heart. Shiro was grinding against him helplessly, like an animal, like something that only had one thought — to crush him, to smell him, to get _inside_. Shiro groaned helplessly, hips snapping up harder and causing Keith to arch. He gasped and gave a moan, biting down on his lip.

There was a sudden sound from the hall. Recruits who were no doubt coming back from classes, going to their dorms. Even though Keith knew his roommate wasn’t due to be back for a couple hours, fear struck him. He really should have put the chair in front of the door. What the fuck were they going to do? Shiro ground against him hard and Keith cried out softly as his erection was pressed against the bed. Shiro cursed and quickly covered Keith’s mouth.

For a few moments they were absolutely still, listening to the sounds of the recruits talking and laughing in the hall. Gradually they started to fade and it became apparent that no one was coming in. Keith let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding and was about to turn his head back to face Shiro, but before he even could Shiro was moving again.

Keith moaned against his hand, eyes sliding shut, and focused on the feeling of the other man moving against him, the ache between his legs. This meant something. For him, for Shiro, for Adam. No matter his protest, Shiro was above him now, sweating and crushing him. Keith had no intention of letting go.

“Shiro,” he keened, rutting into the mattress as Shiro ground his length deep as he could between the clothed cheeks of Keith’s ass. He was close, Keith could tell from the ragged tempo of his breathing and the shivery way his hips were moving. As for himself—  
  
Keith wormed a desperate hand under his belly and unsnapped his pants to work his cock in jerky, restrained motions. He came first, fast and frustrated, and just in time to feel the telltale shudder of Shiro’s hips, and the subsequent twitch of his orgasm pressed hard against the seat of Keith’s pants. Shiro sagged against him and fell to his side, sapped. Keith mirrored him, rolling onto one side to watch Shiro catch his breath, eyes squeezed shut as he panted. They stayed like that for a while, in the relative silence, until the stimulation device on Shiro’s wrist beeped a familiar five-minute warning and Keith’s hand found a place on Shiro’s cheek. Shiro flinched hard, still so full of a tension that wasn’t hard to identify. Keith stroked a thumb over the crest of his cheekbone and Shiro met his eyes at last, mouth settling into a hard line.

“Shiro,” Keith said, lowly. “You’re my favorite person.”

Shiro’s eyes slowly widened until they were more white than anything else. Terrifyingly large. Keith parted his lips again—with a question, maybe—but Shiro was already up and over the bed, disappearing through the unlocked door without so much as a word. Keith flipped onto his back with a sigh and reached for the bar of chocolate he had stashed in his nightstand drawer against regulations. Shiro might not be done running from him, but that was all right. Let him run. He’d be back. It was his job, regardless of the lines they’d just crossed.

Keith bit off a stiff corner of his chocolate and imagined it was Adam’s hold on Shiro he was snapping to bits. Adam stood there and took it. He couldn’t do shit.

Keith would get what he wanted. All he had to do was wait.

***

Two weeks passed by with little to note. The feeling of victory from the claim he had put on Shiro bled into the next days and nights, relived in vivid fantasies during his classes. It was an adrenaline rush like he had never known, feeding into itself over and over, and when he finally came down from it the thoughts would sweep him up again. Shiro behind him. Shiro grinding into him. Shiro breathing his name.

If there was trouble in paradise with the beloved couple, it was beyond Keith’s scope. The messages he received from Shiro were minimal and when they met for lunches he acted as though absolutely nothing was out of the ordinary. Keith didn’t push him on it. He had already made his move. Shiro would come to him in his own time. Adam, cordial as ever, clenched his jaw a little tighter when he smiled.

Mentor and mentee had gone back to their usual routine of meeting once a week. Shiro checked on Keith’s progress, asked him how he was — all in line with what they should have been doing for the past weeks. But there was a new addition to their meetings — Matt.

Matt seemed pleasantly baffled to be there, engaging in banter and teasing Shiro for this and that, giving Keith smiles that were probably meant as encouraging. A while back, in the deepest dark spot of things with Adam, Keith might have seen the gesture as condescending. Now, he felt what he thought must have been a fondness for Matt. Shiro was His Person, but Matt was good too. A good person. A friend. Though one who could not be trusted with what was going on between him and Shiro.

The second time they met, Matt commandeered the conversation, dropping in with very little elegance and an arm around each of their shoulders. He grinned at both of them like he had just had the best idea in the world. “How about this weekend we go over to my place and have a little game night? My sister brought a bunch of board games from home last time she visited and forgot to take them back.”

“Oh, jeez,” Shiro laughed, sounding a little nervous at this sudden new outing. Most likely because it would involve Keith. Keith was not offended. “Maybe, I’ll have to check with Adam.”

“I already texted Adam about it and he said he’s down to come too. Come on, it’ll be fun!”

Keith saw the opening and took it. “I’m down. It could be nice to have a bit of a break from stuff.”

He could see the strain this caused Shiro. He was torn between wanting to avoid thinking about what had happened and wanting to do what was best for Keith. Keith thought it was sweet.

“... Yeah, I guess. Yeah.” Shiro smiled. “Sounds fun.”

“Woohoo!” Matt ruffled both of their hair in his excitement and released them, going to presumably text Adam.

For a moment the two were left together. Keith let his gaze fall on Shiro and felt himself rise to the surface, out of some sort of shell. He met Shiro’s eyes. If Keith had come to the edge of his awareness, Shiro was buried deep far in his carapace, only visible through a hole that bore deep down — cloistered away, but completely and totally vulnerable. Keith held his gaze, trapping him there. It was euphoric. Shiro managed to break the state after several attempts and left with Matt.

Keith sat alone for a long time after they had left, playing over the events of two weeks ago and biting his thumbnail. He couldn’t wait for the weekend.


	7. Chapter 7

“I’ve got Uno, I’ve got Sorry, I’ve got Operation-- I guess that’s more of a solo game, though.”

Matt was bent over a cardboard box of board games, going through them. The pieces rattled around noisily. It was a cheerful sound that Keith, who was sitting at Matt’s desk, didn’t mind.

“Oh hey, here’s Monopoly! That’s a fun, friendly game!” Matt pulled out a brightly colored box, looking excited.

Keith laughed. “I don’t know if that’s the best way to have a bonding experience.”

“It’s just a little friendly competition. Fine, we’ll play Sorry. Perfect number of people for it, too.” Matt pulled out another box and set it down on the floor, dumping the pieces out and starting to put it together. He shuffled the cards if only to show Keith that cool waterfall thing that he could never quite figure out. Matt fucked it up a bit, but it was still pretty rad.

Keith was just about to ask him to show him how when there was a knock on the door. Shiro and Adam entered, both of them all smiles for the occasion. Keith picked up on something immediately. There was some sort of strain between the two of them, like they had been having an argument just before entering the room. Still, they greeted the both of them like nothing was wrong.

“So, what are we playing?” Shiro asked, moving forward to sit across from Keith. Matt missed this cue and dropped down in the spot he had been going for, setting the cards down in the center. Shiro’s jaw tightened a bit and after a moment of hesitation he sat down next to Keith.

Adam sat down across from him, chuckling. “Not afraid of ruining any friendships?”

Matt scoffed. “Puh-lease. If our friendships are really that fragile then we have a problem here.”

Keith glanced up at Shiro who was determinedly not looking at him, laughing at whatever Matt had said. Keith had barely heard. All he could hear was the pounding in his heart, harder and harder, louder than anything and then--

“I thought underclassmen had to clean the gym today.”

Keith was snapped out of his thoughts. He looked over at Adam who was smiling at him intently. Intensely. “Oh… It wasn’t my turn.”

Adam continued to look at him. Keith expected him to say something, but he never did, smile burning into him. He met Adam’s eyes rather than shying away.

“Okay! Everyone remember the rules? I go first!” Matt drew his card and immediately started complaining. “Damn it all.”

Matt’s card was a 4.

“Well, we can’t all be lucky,” Shiro said, drawing his own first card with a smirk that faded when he realized he, too, was still relegated to his Start circle. Keith reached for the stack next. A 2. And they were off.

All was peaceful for a while as the other three gradually entered the playing field. Then.

“You better not,” Matt warned as Keith reached ominously for one of his pieces. “Keith!”

Keith bumped him back to Start with all the ruthlessness of an angered lion, and Matt was too enraged by his ensuing laughter to immediately notice the predicament Keith’s new position on the board had landed Shiro in, upon drawing a 5. The same number of spaces ahead that Keith now was. A taste of his own medicine would be convenient. Ironic, even.

Shiro chose to move another piece instead.

“Always looking out for Keith,” Adam observed with a snort. A mirthless sound. “How like you.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Shiro demanded, narrowing his eyes. Adam lowered his eyebrows in turn.

“Exactly what it sounds like.” Matt was shifting uncomfortably, but Keith didn’t think he’d ever felt more alive.

The tension between Adam and Shiro bled out into the atmosphere. Matt tried to make a few jokes which fell awkwardly between them all and received no more than a polite chuckle. Keith kept his head down and the pace of the game quickened.

Everything came to a screeching halt when they hit an impasse -- Shiro pulled a Sorry card and the only two people with pieces out of home were Keith and Adam. Adam looked at him pointedly, eyebrows raised, and Shiro ignored him completely. Matt looked nervous.

“Uh-oh,” Matt commented, doing little to help the situation. “That’s a toughie.”

Shiro did not reaffirm the statement. Instead he coolly knocked off one of Adam’s pieces and sent it back to Start. Keith noted that if Shiro had knocked off one of _his_ , it would have gotten him closer to home. He didn’t say anything.

“Wow,” Adam said. “ _Wow._ ”

“Guess it wasn’t such a toughie after all,” Keith commented offhandedly. Adam’s eyes _burned_.

“Would you like to say that again? I didn’t quite hear.”

“Please,” Shiro scoffed, before Matt could say anything to deescalate the situation. “Don’t get so bent out of shape, it’s unattractive.” He had Adam’s full attention with that. “It’s just a game.”

“Is it though?” Adam wanted to know, cocking his head. “Because I think this is about the conversation we had earlier.” Shiro laughed, and loudly.

“Really, Adam? You’re gonna bring that up in front of our friends?”

“Your friends, not mine,” Adam snapped. Keith felt a grin stretching his cheeks as he looked between the two of them, but there were no eyes on him. Not anymore.

“Great,” Shiro snorted in disbelief, throwing his hands in the air. “Just great. It all comes out.”

“I think we might be done here,” Matt muttered, sweeping the game pieces and cards off the board. “Keith, a little help.”

Keith bent over to help put the game away as Adam stood, straightening his clothes. He looked down at Shiro with a long smile. “I don’t have to put up with this.”

Shiro met his gaze for a long moment before Adam turned on his heel and left the room. Matt tucked the game back into the box he’d pulled it from, looking a little upset. Shiro sighed and scratched the back of his neck.

“I'm sorry about this, Matt. I know you were looking forward to game night.”

“It’s cool,” Matt said, even though it clearly wasn't. Keith felt bad for him, but couldn’t help the way his heart soared at what Shiro said next.

“Come on, Keith. I'll walk you home."

Matt sat down on his bed and gave a half hearted wave as they headed out. Keith reached over to put a brief hand on his shoulder. He had the thought that maybe they should stay there and talk with him, but Shiro was already out the door. He followed him.

The two of them walked in silence for a while. Shiro seemed tense, a low simmering anger pooling around him. Keith waited for him to speak first.

“Let’s go get some ice cream.”

Keith smiled a little. That sounded great.

***

Being with Shiro was easy. Too easy, Keith realized, halfway through his banana sundae. This was the first time he and Shiro had been well and truly alone since the intimacy in Keith’s room, and yet Shiro sat there next to him nursing a milkshake as if nothing had really changed between them. As if a few times seeing each other under the perceived safety of Matt’s supervision somehow negated what they had done. What they’d _shared_.

Keith had to really try not to be angry, until Shiro’s hand found a place on his knee. Shiro squeezed gently and the knot in Keith’s gut suddenly untwisted, teased loose by the familiar flutter of butterfly wings. Shiro put his milkshake down and sighed.

“Adam and I had a fight earlier.” Keith had pretty much figured that out by now, but he kept quiet. Shiro shook his head. “I mean, that's pretty obvious, but-- it was about Kerberos. How he doesn’t think I should go.” Keith listened closely, his heart pounding in his ears. “He gave me an ultimatum.”

“So he pissed you off,” Keith observed, spooning up another banana. Shiro chuckled.

“He kindly informed me that if I go on this mission then I shouldn’t expect him to be here waiting for me when I get back.”

Keith shrugged more casually than was appropriate after Shiro having dropped a bomb like that. “So?”

Shiro stared at him. “ _So?_ ”

“Maybe it’s for the best,” Keith clarified, holding his spoon against his lips. “I’ve been thinking it could be time for something new, for you.” He held Shiro’s gaze. “For me.”

“Keith.” Shiro reached over and moved the spoon away from Keith’s mouth. “I’m not leaving Adam for you. This can’t happen.” His knuckles brushed Keith’s lower lip, sliding over his jaw. “No matter how much I want it to.”

Keith’s blood ran cold.

“Why not?” The question slipped out before he could stop it. Shiro’s hand fell and he just shook his head. That wasn’t an answer. That wasn’t _anything_.

The two sat in silence as they finished the ice cream that Shiro had paid for. No words passed between them for a solid ten minutes. Keith felt something in his gut sour. To think that he had even entertained the thought that they might go _do_ something after this. Finally, Keith found words. “I support you.”

Didn’t that mean anything?

“Even so,” the words cut into Keith’s chest, “I’m not going to leave Adam.”

“But he gave you an ultimatum.” Keith’s fingers twitched. “You’re going on the mission, right? Won't he just leave anyway?”

Shiro snorted at that. How he could laugh at a time like this, dry or not, Keith didn’t understand. “To be honest, I don’t think he expects me to go against him. So I don't actually know how this will turn out.”

“But isn’t the fact that he gave you one enough to make _you_ \--" Keith’s voice cracked and he cut himself off. Shiro frowned.

“I'm sorry, Keith.”

Keith couldn’t breathe. He didn't think he had ever been this angry in his life. He swallowed hard and stood, unable to look at Shiro. Without another look at him he stood and left, walking briskly away from the restaurant. His blood was pounding in his ears too hard to hear if Shiro had even called out to him as he left.

***

Keith’s feet carried him to the training room before he knew it.

He unlocked the door with the keycard Adam had given him so long ago and stole inside with a brief glance over his shoulder to confirm he wasn’t being watched. The room was empty as expected. It was pretty late, and Keith should by all accounts be turning down for bed soon if he didn’t want to miss Sunday breakfast, but practical matters were the last thing on his mind. Right now all Keith wanted to do was push himself until the burning in his muscles outweighed the burning in his heart.

Shiro. Shiro wanted him. But Shiro wouldn’t _take him._

He started off on the weights, working his upper body first and legs second before moving on to cardio, turning the treadmill up to a speed far too high for a paced workout and setting off at a sprint. Keith had long since worked up a sweat when he suddenly heard voices in the hallway. He started in surprise, leaping backward, but his foot caught under the lip of the treadmill. _Shit_. Keith fell hard, twisting his ankle as he painfully hit the ground. His foot throbbed as the door opened and a pair of upperclassmen entered the room.

The conversation died off as they caught sight of Keith, expressions twisting first in dull confusion, then in indignance.

“Who’s the kid?” One of them asked as though Keith wasn’t even there. The second walked over, looking down at him in disapproval.

“Hey, you’re not supposed to be here. You could get put on probation for breaking these kind of rules, the hell are you thinking?” He looked down at Keith, who was still not getting up, then at his ankle. His brow knit together. “Alright, come on.”

He reached down and grabbed Keith’s arm not too gently, helping him up. There was a searing pain in Keith’s foot even at the slightest twist and he grimaced, holding onto the treadmill for support. Great. He’d already been on probation once. Two strikes against him. He didn’t think the Garrison would stand for the traditional three before throwing him out.

He was fucked.

“What’s going on in here?” A pleasant voice broke into Keith’s thoughts and his blood ran cold. He looked up sharply and was frozen in place by Adam who was walking towards them at a comfortable pace. He wore a bemused smile, something gleefully calculating in his eyes. “Keith?”

“He was in here after hours,” said the first upperclassman, as the second struggled to hold Keith steady on one leg. “He knows he’s too young to be here alone. We’re taking him to the disciplinary--”

“I don’t think that’ll be necessary,” Adam cut in smoothly, striding over and taking his hands out of his pockets. “After all, I was the one that let him in.”

“O-Oh,” managed the second, as Adam replaced him as Keith’s undertaker. Keith was completely at Adam’s mercy. There was no way this could go well.

“I stepped out for a bit,” Adam elaborated, forcefully arranging Keith’s arm over his shoulders, “but it’s my keycard he used to get in. My responsibility. I’ll take care of him from here. Sorry for the trouble.”

“No trouble,” the first said, though uncertainty was clear on his face as he looked between the two of them. “Have a nice night.” Adam all but dragged Keith to the entrance and into the empty hallway. The door shut behind them as they passed into the dark, and they were alone.

Keith couldn’t imagine being in a worse situation. The last few times he had been around Adam, he’d at least had Shiro to help defuse the situation. Adam couldn’t do whatever he wanted with Shiro around. The worst part was that he really didn’t know what to expect from him. Adam could be planning to kill him or do absolutely nothing at all.

His imagination was getting away from him. Adam wasn’t stupid enough to actually physically hurt him… right? Adam turned sharply and led them into a darkened room. When the lights were flipped on he realized it was a small medical bay. Adam brought Keith over to a chair and sat him down, neither rough nor forceful.

The silence weighed over Keith, teetering as though any moment the scales would tip and it would come down to crush him. He watched as Adam brought over a few supplies and got down on his knees in front of him. The smile on his face was one of genuine amusement. Delight.

“It seems to be a pretty bad sprain. You’ll have to keep some ice on it.” Before Keith could protest Adam was untying his shoe with delicate precision and sliding it off of his foot. He didn’t yank it off of him or cause unnecessary strain and was gentle in rolling back the sock. Adam hissed softly as though the sight of the swollen ankle hurt him. The smile didn’t leave his face. “You won’t be able to do training for a bit, but don’t worry. You won’t get in trouble for it.”

Keith realized that he was clenching his jaw in anticipation of pain. It didn’t come, but Keith couldn’t get himself to relax for a moment. Finally he forced his mouth open and wrenched the words from his gut. “What are you doing?”

Adam looked up at him and met his eyes. If it was anyone else the look would have been warm and amused, like they were in on a joke together. Keith supposed that in a way, they were. Adam held his gaze for a moment too long. “What do you mean? I’m going to wrap your ankle.”

“I mean--” Keith cut himself off, watching as Adam picked up a large roll of bandage tape and began to gently wrap it around Keith’s foot and ankle in a practiced motion.

“You really shouldn’t feel bad. This happens to every cadet at some point. When Shiro and I first joined he ended up making a mistake in training and broke a few fingers.” Adam chuckled as though it was a fond memory. “We all make mistakes. Don’t we, Keith?”

Keith remained silent.

“Sometimes we just slip up. Especially if there’s something that we want badly.” A pause. “Like a promotion to officer. Or to hang out with the big boys.” Adam met his eyes.

Keith felt something rear up inside of him -- anger, frustration. Something that he could only describe as hate. “Or,” he said slowly, as if sounding the words out. “Going on the Kerberos mission.”

Adam went still. It was so quiet the only thing Keith could hear was his own breathing which was growing uneven. It felt as though the temperature of the room had dropped ten degrees. He watched as Adam slowly tilted his head.

“You know what I hate about kids?” Adam’s voice hadn’t changed, but Keith swore he saw excitement pass in his eyes. “Through no fault of their own they lack the experience that would let them know when it’s time to quit.”

Before Keith could even open his mouth to snap at him that he wasn’t a kid, Adam dug his thumb harshly into the swollen flesh of his ankle. Keith cried out in pain and clutched at the chair, body twisting to get away. The pain finally relented, leaving a horrific ache in its place.

“Do you think that Shiro is the only one capable of nurturing?” Adam asked. Keith panted, nausea rising in his throat. It hurt so _bad_. “Of _teaching_ you? Providing _guidance_?”

Keith watched as his thumb was positioned against his bandaged flesh again. He struggled to get away which only drove the digit closer.

“I know it’s hard to believe, but I’m _fond_ of you, Keith. Of your drive. You remind me of myself and it’s only natural that you would feel the way you do for Shiro.” His thumb moved in slow circles over the bandage. “But as someone who is looking out for you, it’s my responsibility to teach you. Guide you. And punish you when you step out of line.”

Adam’s thumb dug down into his aching muscle, causing Keith to scream. He moved away violently, trying to get out of the chair, but Adam jerked him back by his ankle, thumb digging in slow, searching motions for the area that caused the most pain. “Remember this, Keith. You are out of line. Don’t make me say it again - I will put you back in your place as many times as is necessary.”

“And what is my _place_ , exactly?” Keith growled, teeth crushing the inside of his cheek. Adrenaline was coursing through him, fight-or-flight instincts shrieking, but he was no fool. Adam was bigger. Stronger, presumably. Fighting back would make his situation much, much worse. “Why don’t you cut the bullshit and tell me exactly where you think I belong?”

Adam met his gaze steadily and Keith watched as it was tinged with surprise. His nail dug into Keith’s swollen ankle. “What an odd question. I would have thought the answer would have been obvious, Keith.” Adam tilted his head, smiling brightly at him. “Beneath me.”

All at once the pressure relented and Adam pulled his hand away from Keith entirely, standing up. He held it out expectantly and it took Keith a moment to realize he was offering to help him stand. He smacked it away angrily and Adam simply chuckled, watching as Keith struggled to his feet. Without asking for permission, Adam grabbed his arm and forced it around his shoulders.

“Let go of me!” Keith snapped, but Adam did not relent, leading him out of the room and down the hall. The pain took the place of any words Keith might have thrown at him and he gritted his teeth, chewing at his cheeks as they made the slow and arduous journey back to his dorm.

It felt like hours passed before they arrived. Adam helped him into the room, going as far as to get him all the way to his bed before letting him go. His roommate was asleep, utterly unaware of Adam as he stood above Keith, smiling down at him for a stretch of time.

“Goodnight, Keith.” Adam watched him a moment longer, then turned and left the room as casually as if he really had just helped him out of the goodness of his heart. Keith lay in the dark after the door clicked closed, breathing unevenly. He only had enough energy to roll over and bury his face in the pillow before his breathing picked up in panic.

He felt as though Adam had his eye on him long after he had left.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay. Enjoy.

The time between last seeing Shiro and going to his apartment felt like negative space punctuated only by Keith’s run in with Adam and the exam he was fairly sure he passed later in the week. The weekend came and Keith found himself on the shuttle over to Shiro and Adam’s place in Garrison family housing Friday night, focusing on the sounds of insects outside the building as he hobbled along on his crutches under the scattered streetlights.

He wasn’t sure what this meeting would entail. Adam would be gone so if they hadn’t had their last conversation he would have thought this was an invitation to go further. His only concern was that Shiro would try to let him down easy again, reinforce the relationship they had before and push away the chance of going further.

Not that what they had didn’t have meaning. But Keith had long outgrown the confining parameters of their previous mentor and mentee relationship. He was ready for more. And Shiro was too. Like a hermit crab that had long outgrown its current shell refusing to leave because of the comfort it provided. Even if that meant crushing his insides.

Keith arrived at the apartment and knocked on the door. Shiro answered almost immediately with a warm smile that twisted in alarm. “Keith, what happened to your leg? Are you alright?”

“It’s fine,” Keith responded automatically. “I twisted it during training. No big deal.”

“Come sit down, do you want me to get you an ice pack?” Shiro touched his arm, leading him towards the kitchen.

“No, it doesn’t hurt. Thanks, though.”

“If you’re sure… I’m just finishing up making dinner. Figured we should eat some good food. You earned it after that exam.”

Keith felt a prick under his skin. For the first time he saw Shiro’s words as patronizing. He wasn’t some kid that needed rewards for doing well. He was an adult. A man. And yet all of his frustration seemed to ease away when he caught sight of the beautiful expanse of Shiro’s back flexing under his shirt as he pulled a tray of roast potatoes from the oven.

Shiro dumped the potatoes onto a serving plate and brought them over to the table along with a tray of carved chicken and greens. There was a bottle of red wine already set out. Shiro had clearly prepped for this. It made Keith’s mouth twist in a smile as Shiro helped him sit down to eat.

“Dig in,” Shiro encouraged, pouring each of them a glass. Keith noticed that he was being watched. Maybe to make sure that he was eating enough. Maybe something else. He filled up his plate and began to eat.

Something uncomfortable slowly began to pile up around them. A silence that only grew as they ate. Discomfort. Shiro finally cleared his throat. “So how are… things?”

Keith gave him a long look. “...Things?” Shiro coughed again. He was nervous.

“Yeah. You know. ...Things.”

“Things are fine,” Keith said tightly, reeling in his temper as annoyance spiked at the awkward atmosphere. _Patience yields focus._ He exhaled, took another slice from the tray. “What about you?” Shiro’s utensils clacked loudly against the porcelain of his plate.

“I’m all right,” he muttered. “Business as usual with the Garrison.”

“You seem kind of tense,” Keith observed, avoiding Shiro’s eyes. Shiro scoffed ruefully.

“Yeah, well.” He stabbed at his greens. “That’s what happens when you live with someone like Adam. Everything turns into an argument when he hasn’t gotten his way.”

Keith lowered his fork. “I’m guessing he’s still holding out for you to fold over Kerberos.” Shiro shot him an affirmative look and Keith turned back to his food. “...Is that the only thing that’s stressing you out?”

Shiro put his silverware down and rested his fists on the table. “I’m just...” He stared at the unfinished food on his plate. “Now that you’re here, I’m—” He took a deep breath and met Keith’s eyes, smiling with the warmth he’d had at the front door. “...Sorry. What I should say is, thanks for coming. It’s been a long week without you.”

“I felt the same,” Keith confessed, leaning in. Shiro smiled a bit wider, then looked down as if he’d startled himself, clenching his jaw. Keith quickly reached across the table, placing a hand over Shiro’s fist in what was meant as an encouraging gesture.

Shiro yanked his hand away at lightning speed. The two of them were left there to stare at each other in mutual surprise, Keith’s hand hovering over the table and Shiro’s wound up tight by his side. Time stopped. Shiro’s eyes were wide.

Keith threw his napkin down and grabbed his crutches to make for the door.

“Keith!” Shiro was up in an instant. “ _Keith!_ ”

“What do you want, Shiro?!” Keith demanded, coming to a stop in front of the door. “Either you figure it out, or I’m gone!”

Shiro threw his hands to his sides. “What does that mean?!”

“It means I can’t be around you like this,” Keith said, raising his voice. “It means either you admit what you want, or I go straight to the administration and tell them I can’t continue on with my current mentor, because I have improper feelings for you! You can’t have it both ways, Shiro! I can’t stand this!”

“You won’t do it,” tested Shiro. “How could you?”

“Try me,” Keith snarled.

“ _No!_ ” Shiro shouted, as Keith went for the doorknob. “God _dammit_ , Keith—you’re _just like Adam!_ ”

“Well then you have a type,” Keith snapped. “Look in the mirror.”

Shiro was red where he had just been white. “Is that how you justify emotional blackmail?”

“I’m being real,” Keith shot back. “One of us has to.” Shiro had nothing to say to that, so Keith spun back to the front door and yanked it open.

Shiro was behind him before he could step out, slamming the door closed and turning the lock before his eyes.

“What do you want me to say?” he asked, low in Keith’s ear. “Do you want me to tell you I love you?”

“If that’s the truth,” Keith stated, staring at the white paint of the door.

Shiro tucked his chin over Keith’s shoulder, wrapped his arms around his waist. “Will the truth make you stay?” Keith turned so they were flush and allowed Shiro to search his eyes. He was drawn in before he knew it, sandwiched between the wood of the door and the press of Shiro’s mouth on his lips.

Keith’s crutches fell to the floor.

“I’ll give you what you want,” Shiro promised, muffled in his kiss. “Just tell me you’ll stay.”

“Okay,” Keith mumbled, closing his fingers in Shiro’s hair. “Okay.”

Keith wasn’t used to having another person’s warmth against him. Even so, he was sure that no one else in the world felt like Shiro. He was large, firm, incredibly warm. He felt safe and Keith had the thought that nothing had ever felt quite so much like home as being in Shiro’s arms. The thought remained as Shiro helped him over to the couch and doubled as he was laid down almost gently only to be crushed by a demanding weight.

Shiro pressed his body to his, slipping between Keith’s legs like he belonged there. He kissed him with an urgency that was almost sloppy, but still took the time to pepper each deep kiss with soft, reassuring ones.

The world seemed to spin as Keith tilted his head back, forehead pressed against the arm of the couch. Shiro pressed quick, open mouth kisses to his neck and throat as Keith’s thoughts swirled violently in his brain.

What were they going to do this time? Was Shiro going to fuck him? Did this mean that he would be devoted to him?

No -- to _them._ Shiro wanted him. Shiro loved him.

Keith let out a soft keen as Shiro’s hands found their way under his shirt, running along sensitive skin until they came to rest at his chest. Keith was sure Shiro could feel his heart pounding when he pulled back and looked down at Keith adoringly, _reverently._ Their eyes met and the look in Shiro’s sent a shiver down Keith’s spine.

“What do you want?” Shiro asked, hushed.

“You know what I want,” Keith replied, scooting further down until the fork of his legs aligned with Shiro’s crotch. Shiro smiled, pressing his lips together and hiding his face in the crook of Keith’s neck.

“I don’t think I’m ready for that.”

“You’re so stressed,” Keith whispered, squeezing Shiro’s forearms. “I want you to take it out on me. Let me help make it better.” Shiro sighed into his hair.

“Are you sure?” Keith nodded vigorously and Shiro ran his large hands down the length of his torso one last time before rising from the couch. “Wait here.” He disappeared in the direction of the bedroom and Keith pushed himself unsteadily to his feet, using the arm of the couch to balance on his good leg as he undressed.

Shiro returned from the bedroom to see Keith there naked and promptly dropped the bottle of lube.

“O-Oh,” Keith said, in mutual surprise. Shiro shook his head as he scrambled to pick up the fallen bottle and return to the living room.

“No, I—fuck, I mean—you’re perfect,” he stammered, placing the bottle down next to a framed photograph of himself and Adam. Keith hated it.

Shiro was _his_.

“Do you want to touch me?”

Shiro pulled him in without hesitation, one arm supporting him and the other hand roaming his body, front and back. Keith wiggled closer as Shiro cupped his ass, squeezed.

“God,” he breathed, lowering another hand. Keith held himself steady on Shiro’s biceps as he felt him up, pulled the cheeks apart. He could feel Shiro’s erection against his stomach and pressed forward until Shiro moaned.

“I love you.”

“Keith, baby,” Shiro managed as Keith unsnapped his pants and sank to his knees. “You don’t have to—” He bit his lip. Keith was already kissing his cock.

“It’s been a little while, right?” Keith asked, jerking him off. Shiro nodded, fingers curling at his sides. “It’s my first time, but I’ll do my best.”

“Fuck, Keith—” Shiro’s hand flew to Keith’s hair as he swallowed as much as he could. Keith had some sort of idea what to do as far as pleasing Shiro went, but what he hadn’t expected was how much he was enjoying the act itself; the weight and girth of Shiro in his mouth; the taste and smell of him; the undemanding pressure of his hand behind his head. He bobbed his head, moaning in approval, and moved the hand that wasn’t stroking Shiro’s base between his legs to pleasure himself. Keith felt _claimed_.

Shiro made a soft noise and Keith looked up at him, blinking back tears. The effect on Shiro was instant. Keith gagged a little as Shiro’s hips stuttered, hands smoothing his hair down in apology. He pulled off for a moment, locking eyes with Shiro once more, and let his mouth fall open. Trust. Shiro had his. Shiro’s fingers tightened in his hair after a few seconds and Keith let him hold his head in place, let him guide himself into his mouth and gauge how deep Keith could take it before pulling back, thrusting shallowly in and out. Keith stroked himself faster as Shiro’s thrusts came quicker. God, he wanted Shiro to _fuck_ him, but—not today, he’d said. Not today.

Shiro was pulling him to his feet before he knew it, lifting him off the ground and depositing him over the back of the couch. Shiro grabbed the bottle of lube from the side table and slammed the photograph there down on its face before flipping the cap open. Keith jumped in surprise when Shiro’s wet fingers touched the sensitive inside of his thighs.

“Have I told you I love your legs?” Shiro asked, reaching up to sluice Keith’s taint and ass. “It’s hard to make the cadet uniform look good, but...damn, you do it.”

“Thank you,” Keith said, waving his ass encouragingly and receiving a small smack for his efforts.

“It’s a shame the top comes down so low,” Shiro continued breathily, yanking Keith’s hips up and sliding himself between his thighs. “Wish I could see your ass when you walk.”

“You and the rest of the world,” muttered Keith as Shiro leaned over him, combing gentle fingers through his hair.

“No,” he said. “Only me. You’re mine.” Keith’s heart stopped. Shiro’s hips pressed into his ass. “Close your legs.”

Keith did as he was told and Shiro reared back, dragging against his taint with palpable need and setting a punishing pace from the start. Keith’s body bounced with every powerful thrust, skin singing where Shiro’s hips slapped loudly against his ass.

“I—knew you were—stressed,” he stuttered between thrusts, grabbing at the arm of the couch for leverage. “I—knew it.” Shiro pulled away, dragging his cock up into the valley of Keith’s ass and groaning as he fucked back into his thighs.

“Stressed about you,” he said, stroking Keith’s back and sides with disproportionate care. “Trying not to _think_ about you and what you do to me.” Keith pressed his legs more firmly together and Shiro moaned, picking up speed. “Fuck, baby—”

“I want you to think about me,” Keith murmured, savoring the feel of cock between his legs as Shiro leaned forward into the movement of his hips. “About me and how I’m here for whatever you need, whenever you need it. How I wanna be good for you.” He squeezed tighter and Shiro’s hips lost rhythm, hammering forward off-tempo and staccato. “Wanna be _so good_ for you, Shiro.” Shiro’s seed spilled onto the faux leather of the couch and ran down the front of his thighs. Keith closed his eyes as Shiro smoothed a hand over his ass up to the small of his waist.

“You are good for me,” Shiro said, through audible afterglow. “But don’t think I don’t know I’m the only one you’re good for. You’re a hellion.” He sighed and Keith smiled, feeling warm breath ghost across his back. “It’s probably why I fell in love with you.”

Keith drew his fingers through the mess dripping down the back of the couch and made a show of licking them clean while Shiro reached for a tissue.

For a moment Keith just laid there as Shiro cleaned him up, reveling in what they had just done. What Shiro had just done. To him. He smiled against the seat of the couch that Shiro and Adam had bought together, nuzzling the material. He was content. Would have been content to just to lay with Shiro for the rest of the night.

Keith made to reach for him, not looking up from where he lay, when he felt something cool against him. Slick fingers were massaging between the cheeks of his ass, gently pressing deeper until they reached his entrance. Keith’s body arched and his mouth fell open in a silent gasp, eyelids fluttering for a moment before closing again. He trusted Shiro.

“Keith,” Shiro breathed, working his finger into him with great care but also an urgency that suggested he _needed_ this. Possibly more than Keith. Shiro made a sound behind him, something deep that came from his chest, and Keith couldn’t help but open his eyes to look at him. What he saw made his stomach twist in excitement.

Shiro was staring at what he was doing with rapt, almost frighteningly intense attention. Keith got the feeling that this was something he had wanted to do for far longer than he would have let onto verbally. Though up until recently Shiro had denied wanting to do anything with Keith. He was a poor liar. Shiro’s eyes darted up to Keith’s face and locked with his. The look in them was something raw, visceral, and Keith did not doubt for a second that Shiro had never looked at Adam this way.

Keith felt like a god.

His own pleasure was at the back of his mind even as his body began to squirm on its own, hopelessly honest, showing Shiro exactly what he wanted to see. Keith vulnerable beneath him. Open in every conceivable way. Inviting. If Shiro had crawled on top of him, buried himself inside of him, _fucked_ him, Keith would not have refused him. Even if Shiro had needed to fuck him over and over again.

Keith’s body arched as he came, crying out in pleasure. It felt as though he had achieved something. Won. And he had.

Shiro cleaned him up a second time, gentle and kind. That was his Shiro. Keith reached down to lightly touch his hair, barely brushing his fingers through the dark locks.  Shiro only stood up for a moment to pull his pants back on and then he was sitting down with him on the couch, tentatively pulling him to his body. Keith fell against his chest without restraint, closing his eyes. He didn’t bother to put his clothes back on.  

This was perfect. This was how things were supposed to be. And he would be damned if Adam tried to take it from him.

***

Keith awoke to the sound of someone knocking at the door.

He stirred, raising his palms and mashing them into his eyes. Shiro shifted against him, caressing his bare ass with a hand that had drifted there while they both slept. His eyes blinked open and Keith watched Shiro’s vision come into focus through the haze of sleep. Shiro smiled drowsily, letting his eyes slip closed again.

“Hey baby,” he murmured, pressing his lips to Keith’s. Keith put his arms around Shiro’s neck and pulled him in, rolling their hips together as Shiro’s tongue touched his.

The knocking began again and Shiro bolted upright.

“What time is it?” he urged, swinging his head around to find the wall clock. Keith found it shortly. 7:14 AM. “Shit.”

“Shiro,” came Matt’s voice from the other side of the door. “Shiro, did you forget I was coming over?”

“Up,” Shiro pressed, pulling Keith upright as a small amount of panic finally set in. “Get your clothes, go in the bedroom and get dressed. Wait there until I come for you.” Keith retrieved his crutches and clothes from the ground and hurried over into the bedroom as Shiro waited by the door. He heard the deadbolt turn as soon as the door was shut.

“Hey,” Keith heard Matt say as the front door closed. “Sorry I’m a few minutes early. Looks like I could afford to have been a little late.” Keith pulled on his clothes as quietly as he could, remaining close to the door so he could hear.

“Yeah, sorry, I…” Shiro sighed. “I overslept.”

“It’s cool. I don’t have to be anywhere until half past noon. I can just wait around until you’re done if that’s all right.”

“Sure,” said Shiro. “Hey, did you eat yet?”

“Not yet.”

“Why don’t you run in the bathroom and wash your hands? I’ll get some breakfast ready.” Keith pressed his ear against the door, listening for carpeted footsteps disappearing into the bathroom. The door swung open. Shiro was standing there.

“Come on,” he urged, placing a hand on Keith’s waist and leading him out toward the door.

“My keys,” Keith reminded, turning around to grab them from the dining table. Shiro was pulling him away before his hand even closed around the keyring. “Kiss me.”

“Just one,” Shiro mumbled, ducking down as he fumbled for the doorknob. Keith kept him there for a second, attempted a third. “Okay--okay, no, you’ve _got_ to go--”

“So what’s for breakfast?”

The bathroom door opened and Shiro shoved them apart.

“Keith?” Matt said, stepping out. “I, uh. I didn’t know you were here.”

“I came to visit,” Keith responded, eyes still on Shiro. Matt followed the gaze back and forth and cleared his throat.

Shiro nodded and took a step away from Keith. “Ah, yeah, it was kind of sudden.”

“Hey, I know how it is.” From Matt’s tone he really didn't. Or if he did, he didn’t like what he saw.

“Keith was just leaving,” Shiro said quickly.

Keith looked up at him, mulling it over.  “Shiro… I can’t walk back. My ankle.”

Matt looked down at his ankle in alarm. “Oh damn, did you hurt it? That sucks, man.” A pause. “Wait, Shiro did you get up and drive him over this early? How could you forget?”  

Keith looked at Matt. “I took the shuttle here last night.”

The temperature of the room dropped sharply. Matt’s eyes widened a bit and his gaze shot to Shiro. For just a moment, Keith thought he saw suspicion in his eyes. Then it faded, or was forced down.

“Oh, you slept over? Then you should eat with us, too. That's fine, right, Shiro?” Matt smiled, though it was a little uneasy.

It worked for Keith. He didn't want to leave anyway. “Yeah, I'll stay for breakfast.”

Shiro nodded and turned somewhat quickly, going into the kitchen. The other two followed and Matt whistled lowly when he saw the spread from the night before still sitting there.

“Woah, that looks like some good food.” There was something uncomfortable about the scene and Matt caught onto it quick. “Why didn't you clean up?”

Shiro didn’t respond, instead asking cheerfully, “Pancakes or French toast?”

“Pancakes,” Keith responded immediately. He dragged his foot a bit on the way to the table and sat down by the chicken, watching as Shiro prepped their breakfast.

Matt made small talk as they ate, discussing whatever it was that he had wanted to speak with Shiro about. Something about going shopping in town and how it was a pain to have to get up so early to get there. Keith wasn't listening. All he could think about was what had transpired, and the promise that it would again. Ten times, a hundred times. Enough to overcome the times that Adam and Shiro had spent together, then double them.

He was quiet on the ride back to his dorm, politely refusing the offers to help him back inside. He could barely feel the pain, he was riding so high.

All Keith could think of for the rest of the day was that he hadn't been able to get one more kiss.

***

 _Just one more_. The thought remained in Keith’s mind for days. He was right to have taken what he could get when he did. Monday came and Keith learned quickly that Shiro excelled at maintaining an innocent façade, performing well in front of Matt and under the pressure of a recently-returned Adam’s sharp glare. Too well. What with the encompassing warmth Shiro usually directed at Keith, the contrast of its absence was almost cold by comparison.

“Did something happen between you and Shiro?” Matt asked in concern that Wednesday, Shiro having excused himself to the restroom. Adam sipped his coffee disinterestedly, but his eyes were trained on Keith from just beyond the rim. Keith did his best to put on a show, looking down at the table and picking at his food.

“I don’t know,” he sighed, with a curated tremor in his voice. “I don’t think I did anything, but--he’s been distant this week. Do you think it’s me?”

“Maybe he’s just decided to focus on what’s important,” said Adam, smug behind his cup. Matt’s expression twisted, as if he’d tasted something sour, but Shiro returned before any words could exit his mouth.

“Got you a cookie,” he said, pressing a kiss to Adam’s cheek. Adam’s smile stretched in a wicked curve as Shiro deposited it into his hands, and didn’t falter even when Shiro settled back into place in his seat next to Keith. Keith took a large bite of his pizza and calmly chewed it over while he met Adam’s victorious eyes. Under the table, a large hand was moving sensuously up  his thigh. Keith spread his legs a bit and let those fingers dance up the inseam of his uniform pants, curl into the space between his thighs and _squeeze_. Shiro knew what Adam wanted. He also knew what it would take to keep Keith, and was willing to put in the work. Conversation continued as normal.

This was the minimum Keith would accept. Not that he would be pleased. If this was all the effort Shiro would put in, Keith would have given him a solid C. A passing grade, but barely. Hardly befitting of a notorious teacher’s pet. _Well_.

It was fortuitous for Shiro that Keith’s needs seemed to coincide with his own.

“Let me hold you,” Shiro whispered, once the door to the supply closet was safely shut behind him. “God knows the next time I’ll be able to get you alone.” Keith slid in willingly, tucking his crutches to the side and flattening his hands on Shiro’s chest as a strong arm wrapped snugly around his waist. Shiro tipped his chin up and Keith indulged him with a kiss or six before breaking away to unfasten his collar. “Careful,” he breathlessly reminded, as the hook came apart. “Don’t leave any--”

“Marks, yeah, I know,” Keith interrupted with a roll of his eyes. Shiro soothed him with a kiss to the forehead and a finger to the tip of his nose. Keith’s irritation was only partially quelled. “I’m never going to like this. Not being able to do what I want.” Shiro clutched him tighter, lowering his mouth to Keith’s ear.

“You think I don’t know what you want? I know exactly what you want.” Keith shuddered as Shiro’s lips touched his earlobe. “I want to give it to you. Take care of you.” Teeth, on his skin. “Make you _feel_ what I _feel_ for you.”

“Shut up and kiss me,” Keith hissed. Shiro readily obliged, teasing Keith’s lips apart with his tongue, and if this was all Keith could possibly get, he would just have to make do. For now. Much as he wished it were, Shiro wasn’t the sole fixture in his life. He was a student, in the end, and time was marching on.

Keith shifted his weight in his seat. It was Thursday of the same week, and he had a meeting scheduled with his engineering instructor. Nothing out of the ordinary; every student in the course had an individual meeting on the calendar to check in with the professor on the progress of their final project. Keith’s was progressing smoothly. That wasn’t what had him impatient. His usually-punctual professor was fifteen minutes late.

The door opened slowly and Keith raised his head, expecting to see his instructor’s salt-and-pepper hair. No such luck.

Adam stood there staring into the empty classroom.

“Can I help you?” Keith snapped, making no effort to hide his irritation. Adam’s resulting smile would have been almost polite, if it weren’t for the tightness creasing the corners of his eyes.

“Actually, yes.” Keith blinked at him as he stepped forward into the room, deliberately closing the door behind him.

Adam walked forward, circling around the chair so that he stood in front of him. Keith looked up and met his eyes, suddenly aware of how difficult it would be to maneuver himself with his crutches. He raised his eyebrows at Adam, frustration channeling into bravado. “Well?”

“I just had a question.” Adam smiled almost sweetly. “What did you do?”

“Can’t say I know what you’re talking about,” Keith replied, without batting an eye.

Adam laughed. “Oh, I think you do.” His smile widened and he leaned back casually against the desk behind him. “You know what my favorite thing about you is?” Keith remained silent. “You love a good game as much as I do. It’s been fun. But you’re really starting to become a thorn in my side. And there’s nothing I hate more than losing.”

Adam reached out and grabbed Keith’s chin. He rubbed his thumb affectionately over his skin. “So why don't you be a good boy and tell me what you did?”

“Are you accusing me of something?” asked Keith, canting his head to the left. Adam’s eyes narrowed and Keith slapped his hand away, leaning forward on his elbows with disinterested affect. “I don’t have time for this.”

“Actually,” Adam countered airily. “I ran into your professor. He told me he was on his way to see you and I kindly let him know that you weren't feeling well and had asked me to tell him you'd reschedule. So, really, you have all the time in the world.”

“Thanks,” Keith said. “I appreciate it.”

“Matt told me something funny earlier. Do you know what that was?” Keith shrugged a little too hard. “He said that you stayed the night at our place while I was out of town. Isn’t that interesting?”

“Not so interesting to me,” Keith answered, “considering that I was there.” Adam looked to the sky and inhaled deeply before refocusing on Keith with newfound intensity.

“So much for the cat and mouse shit.” Keith didn’t think he’d ever heard him swear before. Something about it made him uncomfortable. Adam pushed himself away from the desk and began to walk around to Keith’s side, behind him. “I know something happened. Shiro is weak willed when it comes to you. You can tell me, I promise I won't get mad.”

“I don’t think I need to say anything at all,” Keith chuckled, still facing ahead. “I think you know what I did.”

Adam laughed at that. There was a genuine lack of concern in his voice. “You didn't fuck him. I know that much. After all, Shiro is an adult with mature tastes. And you… well, we both know he thinks of you as a child.”

“Well,” Keith snorted, rolling his eyes and smugly biting his lip. “One of us is misinformed. Shiro definitely doesn’t think of me as any sort of kid.” He tipped his head back and locked eyes with Adam, face contorting into a wild, full-toothed grin. “I think I made pretty damn sure of that.”

The smile remained on Adam’s face, but something flared up in his eyes. He reached forward calmly and Keith thought he was going to grab his shoulders.

They wrapped around Keith’s throat.

He jerked forward to try and escape them, but he was already caught in a punishing grip. Keith grabbed at his hands, trying to pry them away to no avail. A rasping sound escaped him when he tried to yell. In a blind attempt at fighting the grip he threw his hand back and punched at Adam, hitting his chest.

“You really do think you’re a big boy, don’t you?” Keith was released for a moment, just long enough to pull in a breath of air before he was thrown to the ground by his hair. He heard his crutches clatter to the floor as Adam crouched down over him. The hands descended harshly on his neck again, squeezing tightly. The sensation made Keith so light headed that when he raised his arms to shove at Adam, they did little to move him. Terror. This was the first time Keith had felt it so acutely. Adam tilted his head at Keith as his vision blurred. “You really think Shiro wants you.”

The thumbs dug into his trachea and Keith rasped in a pathetic breath. “You’re a phase. That’s all you are. You won't take him away from me.” Adam leaned down, eyes burning into his.

“You are so ugly.”

Adam threw his weight into his arms and Keith felt his eyeballs bulge under the sudden shift in pressure. He thrashed under him as Adam leaned forward, knees on either side of Keith’s chest and fingers tightening around his jugular like a steel vise. Keith’s fingernails scrabbled over the back of Adam’s wrists in his panic, mouth opening and closing like a fish. Adam only squeezed harder, lips parting as he panted hard and fast, eyes glittering behind the thick frame of his glasses. He’d envisioned this, Keith realized in ever-growing horror. He’d imagined what it would be like to watch Keith die.

“Sorry,” was the last thing he heard before the darkness overcame him. “I really don’t think I can stop myself.”

***

Keith was first aware of a dull ache in his throat. It felt as though something heavy had been laid over his windpipe, making it difficult to breathe. As he came to, the dull ache grew into a miserable soreness around his whole neck.

He blinked his eyes open.

Adam was gone.

Keith didn’t know how long he had been lying there. It took all the strength he had to roll onto his side, push himself up onto his knees, and drag himself up using the desk. It felt strange to just hobble back to his dorm after this, but what else could he do? Tell Shiro?

No. Shiro may have admitted his feelings for him, but Keith highly doubted he would believe him about this. Keith was on his own. He stumbled his way back in the dark, unable to fully process what had happened or what he was going to do.

Maybe there was nothing he could do.

Maybe he had brought this on himself.

Keith didn’t sleep a wink.


End file.
